5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • Break and Enter

    in

    Yo Mama’s so ugly, two guys broke into her apt., she yelled “rape”, they yelled “NO!”

  • Angels Explained By Children II

    in

    When an angel gets mad, he takes a deep breath and counts to ten. And when he lets out his breath, somewhere there’s a tornado. Reagan, 10 Angels have a lot to do and they keep very busy. If you lose a tooth, an angel comes in through your window and leaves money under your…

  • Bad News / Good News: Lawyer’s Version

    in

    A lawyer goes in to the cell where his client is being held. “Okay, I’ve some bad news, and some good news.” “Right, what’s the bad news?” “It’s DEFINITELY your blood at the scene of the crime.” “So what’s the good news?” “Your cholesterol is way down!”

  • Motorcycle

    in

    What are two blondes doing in front of a motorcycle? Arguing about who get a window seat.

  • BMWs & Porcupines

    in

    What is the difference between a BMW & a porcupine? A porcupine has pricks on the outside.

  • Fishy

    in

    A man and a woman had been married for ten years and decided to try and have kids. They had not been using birth control for the entire time they had been married, so they thought they may have a problem conceiving. The woman, who was hard of hearing, decided to go to the gynecologist…

  • Onestone

    in

    There once was an American Indian whose given name was “OneStone”. He was so named because he had only one testicle. He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him OneStone. After years and years of torment, OneStone finally cracked and said, “If anyone calls me OneStone again, I will kill them!” Word…

  • Stupid Robbers II

    in

    Here are some lessons leaned from the experiences of a number of would-be bank robbers. Go Easy On The Disguise: One robber, dressed up as a woman with very heavy make-up, ran face first into a glass door. He was the first criminal ever to be positively identified by lip-print. Take Right Turns Only: Avoid…

  • Post Turtle

    in

    While suturing a laceration on the hand of a 73 year-old Texas rancher, whose hand had been caught in a gate while working cattle, a doctor and the old man were talking about George W. Bush being in the White House. The old Texan said, “Well, ya know, Bush is a ‘post turtle.’” Not knowing…

  • Reciting The Alphabet

    in

    One night, a mother was walking past her young daughter’s room when she saw the little girl kneeling by her bed, head bowed, hands folded, reciting the alphabet. “What are you doing, sweetheart?” the mother asked. “I’m saying my prayers, Mommy,” replied the little girl, “but I couldn’t think of what I wanted to say,…

  • Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder

    in

    Recently, I was diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D. – Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it manifests: I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing. As I start toward the garage, I…

  • Physical

    in

    Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, “You’re really doing great, aren’t you?” Morris replied, “Just doing…