Sloth

  • Worse Children

    The main purpose of holding children’s parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.

  • RED SKELTON’S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE

    1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship; she goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays. 2. We also sleep in separate beds; Hers is in California and mine is in Texas. 3. I take my wife everywhere; but she keeps finding her way…

  • Mercedes

    A West German businessman is driving a Mercedes through East Germany on a rainy night when his windshield wipers stop working. He takes it to an East German mechanic, who tells him there are no Mercedes windshield wiper motors in the GDR, but he will do his best to fix it. When the businessman returns…

  • The Greatest

    Who is the greatest prostitute in history? Ms.Pacman For 50 cents she’ll swallow balls until she dies.

  • Signs #3

    Sign at an office kitchen: After the tea break, the staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the drain-board.

  • Fart File

    THE COMMON FART The Common Fart is the fart heard most often. It is a very close relative of the “Ripper”, but is released with less force. It is usually heard in groups where people aren’t yet comfortable with farting amongst each other. Therefore, one person in the group gets up some nerve and releases…

  • Pig In A bar

    A woman and her goose walked into a bar. The bartender asked, “Why’d you bring the pig in the bar?” The woman answered, “I do believe this is a goose!” The bartender says, “I was talking to the goose!”

  • The Knocks

    once a women was in her home and she heard someone go knock-knock. she said, who’s their and the voice said tisha the women said tisha who the voice said tisha me my abcs and she was like is that a ghost. the voice said, i’m your cousin and it was a knock-knock joke. oh…

  • Canadian Submarine

    Q: How do you sink a canadian submarine? A: You swim underneath it and knock on the door

  • Captain Saunders’ Escape

    In WW2 Captain Saunders was wounded in battle and captured by the Germans. He was sent to a German military hospital. On his first day in the hospital a doctor came, bearing bad news, “we have to amputate your legs.” The Captain was very sad, however he asked the doctor if his legs could be…

  • Al – Phabet

    Little Johnny’s 2nd grade teacher was quizzing them on the alphabet. “Johnny,” she says, “what comes after ‘O’?” Johnny says, “Yeah!”

  • Idiots I

    A man walks into a modern art museum, he sees a piece of art, and says, “Look how ugly that is, the nose is all out of shape, and look at those arms, so small and weak, I bet the person who created this is a wimp!” A security guard nearby says, “Sir, that’s a…