Sloth
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Two Words
in JokesA man joined the priesthood. The order he joined could not speak for seven years; and then they could only say two words. The first seven years passed and they went into a small room. His two words were “too cold”. The next seven years passed and they took him back into the small room…
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About puns
in JokesNext time you start to groan at friend’s pun, ask yourself: Am I just being jealous?: “A pun is the lowest form of humor — when you don’t think of it first.” –Oscar Levant “Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.” –Fred Allen “A person reveals…
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Your Mom Has Crabs!!!
in JokesYo mama is so nasty she’s got to pour sand down her pants to keep the crabs happy!
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Chuck Norris Facts: 11
in JokesChuck Norris did in fact, build Rome in a day. Along with his black belt, Chuck Norris often chooses to wear brown shoes. No one has DARED call him on it. Ever. Anytime someone is elected president in the United States, they must ask permission from Chuck Norris to live in the White House. The…
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Signs He Only Wants To Get Laid
in Jokes– Watching a nature show where animals fornicate, he keeps winking and doing the eyebrow thing. – When you ask him what kind of car he likes to drive, he solemnly replies, “The skin bus to tuna town,” and then laughs until he cries. – You note that integrity is so important in a man,…
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Dead Horse Management
in JokesThe tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from one generation to the next, says that when you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount. However, in modern business, because of the heavy investment factors to be taken into consideration, often other strategies have to be tried with…
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Police Station
in JokesQ: What did the Dallas chief of police say when the elephant walked into the police station? A: Nothing! He didn’t notice.
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Smart Monkeys
in JokesA tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on display. While he was there, another customer walked in and went over to a cage at the side of the shop and took out a monkey. He fit a collar and leash, handed it to the customer, saying, ”That’ll be $5000.”…
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On A Train
in JokesA man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment, they both manage to get to sleep, the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower. In the middle of the night, the woman leans over and says, “I’m…
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Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow
in JokesQ: What do you have when there are 100 rabbits standing in a row and they all start hopping backwards? A: Receding hare line.