5W1H boo!

Sloth

  • Multiply

    in

    The Flood is over and the ark has landed. Noah lets all the animals out and says, “Go forth and multiply.” A few months later, Noah decides to take a stroll and see how the animals are doing. Everywhere he looks he finds baby animals. Everyone is doing fine except for one pair of little…

  • Deodorant

    in

    Guy goes into a drug store and asks for deodorant. Assistant says, “Aerosol or ball-type?” to which he replies, “Neither, it’s for under my arms.”

  • A Greater Insult

    in

    A biker walks into a yuppie bar and shouts, “All lawyers are assholes!” He looks around, obviously hoping for a challenge. Finally a guy comes up to him, taps him on the shoulder, and says, “Take that back.” The biker says, “Why? Are you a lawyer?” “No, I’m an asshole.”

  • Magic Wine Glass

    in

    A blonde was walking down the road when she saw a beautiful looking lamp, so she picked it up. She rubbed it and a magic genie came out. “You may have any three objects in the world, oh mighty mistress,” said the genie. The blonde replied, “I wish I had an endless glass of wine.”…

  • Why Oh Why

    in

    Why, Oh Why, Oh Why . . . Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak? Why do banks charge a fee on “insufficient funds” when they know there is not enough? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but…

  • Ticks and Crosses

    in

    “Have you ever had a tick before?” asked Mel. “No, I’ve only ever had crosses,” replied Sally.

  • The Turbo Beepbeep

    in

    A man goes out and buys the best car available in the US or Europe, a 2001 Turbo BeepBeep. It is the best and most expensive car in the world, and it runs him $500,000. He takes it out for a spin and, while doing so, stops for a red light. An old man on…

  • Scabs

    in

    Three men are outside a pub when one said, “I dare you to go in and ask for a free glass of milk!” One of the other men went in the pub and said, “Can I have a free glass of milk?” “Only if you pick the scabs of my daughter’s fanny!” replied the barmaid.…

  • A Lawyer’s Trick

    in

    A defendant was on trial for murder. There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse. In the defense’s closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, resorted to a trick. “Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all,” the lawyer said as he…

  • In England . . .

    in

    A South African, an Australian and an Englishman are all drinking in a bar. Suddenly, the South African downs the remainder of his drink, tosses his glass in the air, draws his pistol and shoots the glass. “In South Africa our glasses are so cheap that we don’t need to drink from the same ones…

  • Stupid Blonde

    in

    How can you tell if someone is a true blonde? They clean their hair with air conditioner.

  • More Definitions

    in

    Twenty Something – The cost of a sitter for Saturday night. Fancy Restaurant – One that serves cold soup on purpose. College – The four-year period when parents are permitted access to their home telephone. Hors D’oeuvres – A sandwich cut into 20 pieces. Kissing – A means of getting two people so close together…