Sloth

  • 111 Ways to Annoy People

    Annoy People ——————————————————————————– 1. Pay tolls with $100 bills 2. Leave your supermarket cart on the street or in the middle of the parking lot 3. Eat produce at the market; don’t buy it 4. When giving directions, leave out a turn or two 5. Leave the outdoor Christmas decorations up until March or April…

  • Stop

    A policeman was on duty when he got a complaint, so he went to go check it out. The complaint was that a sport car had not moved from a corner and was holding up traffic. When he got there, he went to the car and asked the blonde lady in it why she was…

  • Christmas Carol

    Racing through the snow a onewarde southern sleigh, all the way we go bahing through the trees, the snow is turning red, I think i’m almost dead, all the children laugh and play around my stupid head!

  • What Children Say VI

    CONFIDENTIAL OPINIONS ABOUT LOVE “I’m in favor of love as long as it doesn’t happen when ‘Dinosaurs’ is on television.” Jill, age 6. “Love is foolish…..but I might try it sometime.” Floyd, age 9. “Yesterday I kissed a girl in a private place…we were behind a tree.” Carey, age 7. THE PERSONAL QUALITIES YOU NEED…

  • Col. Murphy’s Law of Combat:

    Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder!

  • One-legged Lady

    What do you call a one-legged lady? Eileen!

  • Whats that smell?

    Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? Johnny a three-year-old had a lot of problems with potty training and his mother was with him constantly. One day they stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying her…

  • TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS

    Of course you know they have changed the look of twenty dollar bills recently. What happens to the old ones? Bill Gates gets them!

  • I Am Your FATHER!

    Lady on telephone: “Hello sir, I want to meet & talk to you. You are the father of one of my kids.” Guy (stunned!): Are you Sandra? No. Jenny? No. Amy? No. Betty? No. Lady (in confusion): “No sir, I’m your son’s class teacher.”

  • Grocery List

    Grocery List; (noun) A piece of paper you spend half an hour writing, and then forget to take with you to the store.

  • A Biblical Scholar

    A nice girl brings home her fiance to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother tells her father to find out about the young man. He invites the fiance to his study for a chat. “So, what are your plans?” the father asks the fiance. “I am a Biblical scholar,” he replies. “A Biblical scholar.…

  • 4 blondes

    Q: What do you call 4 blondes standing side-by-side? A: A wind tunnel.