Sloth

  • Drug Abuse

    Why do they call it “drug abuse” when the person “abusing the drugs” then ends up with half of his brain being rendered useless?

  • Why Didn’t the Chicken Cross the Road?

    Why didn’t the chicken cross the road? Because he’s “chicken”.

  • Seashells

    I have a large seashell collection which I keep scattered all over the world.

  • Stupidity is Not a Crime!

    Stupidity is not a crime… So you’re free to go!

  • Magical Lamp

    Once upon a time, there was a man holding a magical lamp, he went to a bar where he then got a drink. The bartender sees him and asks him to chat, the man says,”I have a magical lamp rite here!” The bartender says,” Wow, does this mean I can wish for a million bucks.”…

  • Biblical Proportions

    Your momma is so old, she breast fed Methuselah.

  • Are You Watching?

    Sign outside a watch-maker’s shop; Watch batteries fitted.

  • The “Good” Grade

    Child: Mom! I got a 100% on my homework! Mom: Really? On what subject? Child: A 40% on science and a 60% on spelling.

  • Best Seat in the House

    An old Indian lined up all of his ten sons and stood in front of them. He then asked, “Who push port-a-potty over cliff?” Nojoke answered him. He then asked again, “Who push port-a-potty over cliff?” And again nojoke answered. The old Indian said, “I tell story of Georgie and Georgie father. Georgie chop down…

  • Two Eyes

    One eye says to the other eye, “Between you and me, something smells.”

  • Restaurant Games

    THIS WAS REAL! My brother and his friend went out to eat at a restaurant. The restaurant was packed so they had to wait. The waitress then asked them for a name so she could call them when their table was ready. My brother’s friend decided to give her a fake name. So then my…

  • Bird

    Once a bird pooped on me, so I threw it back.