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Sloth

  • Data Centre

    in

    There is an old story about the data centre of the future. This data centre runs 24/7 with only a man and a dog. The man’s job is to feed the dog. The dog’s job is to make sure the man does not touch the computer.

  • Cookbook

    in

    One evening two bachelors were talking over dinner. The conversation drifted from sport to politics, and then to cooking. “I got a cookbook once,” said the bachelor. “But I couldn’t do anything with it.” “Too much fancy stuff in it, huh?” asked his friend. “You said it.” The first guy replied, nodding. “Every one of…

  • Yo Mamas

    in

    Yo mama’s so fat that when she took her first step everyone thought there was an earthquake.

  • Poetic Meter

    in

    A decrepit old gas man named Peter While hunting around for the meter His torch he did light He arose out of sight And, of course, as a result, he totally, completely and utterly destroyed the meter!

  • MY DRINK!!!!

    in

    A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. After a few more he needs to go to the can. He doesn’t want anyone to steal his drink, so he puts a sign on it saying, “I spat in this beer, do not drink!” After a few minutes he returns and there is another…

  • Some More oneliners V

    in

    I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met. I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy. Mental backup in progress – Do not disturb! The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes. Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy. Boycott shampoo! Demand…

  • Ugly Baby

    in

    A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ”Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!” The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ”The driver just insulted me!” The man says: ”You go up there and…

  • Women’s Problems

    in

    Ever notice how many of women’s problems can be traced to the male gender? MENstruation MENopause MENtal breakdown GUYnecology (Gynecology) HIMmorrhoid (Hemorrhoid)

  • MLk/ Nightmare

    in

    Does anyone know why I have nightmares? Because the last man that had a “dream” got shot.

  • Insult Call

    in

    Freddy:May I please use the telephone for a while? Lady Flora:Yes, you may. Then Freddy saw a poster of Jollibee. There it says that the only telephone number you may dial in Rhode Island if you want to talk to them is: 626-999-626. Freddy called that number. Freddy:626-999-626. Jollibe Customer Service:Hello, Jollibee customer service here.…

  • Very Fast!

    in

    There was a Japanese man who went to America for sightseeing. On the last day, he hailed a cab and told the driver to drive to the airport. During the journey, a Honda drove past the taxi. Thereupon, the man leaned out of the window excitedly and yelled, “Honda, very fast! Made in Japan!” After…

  • My Wife…

    in

    2 guys are sitting at a bar after a hard days work and start talking about their wives. 1st guy: “You know what, my wife is an angel.” 2nd guy: “Gee, you sure are lucky, my wife is still alive!”