Sloth
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Did You Hear About the Blond That…
in JokesBaked a turkey for 3 days because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 125.
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Stars
in JokesA Platoon Sergeant and his Platoon Leader are bunking down in the field for the night. The Platoon Sergeant looks up and says, “When you see all the stars in the sky, what do you think, sir?” The LT replies, “Well, I think of how insignificant we really are in the universe; how small a…
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Chinese Jews
in JokesSid and Al were sitting in a Chinese restaurant. “Sid,” asked Al, “Are there any Jews in China?” “I don’t know,” Sid replied. “Why don’t we ask the waiter?” When the waiter came by, Al said, “Are there any Chinese Jews?” “I don’t know sir, let me ask,” the waiter replied and he went into…
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How to Make an Invention Work
in JokesIf you are inventing something, the best way for it to work is to give it a job.
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Differences
in JokesWhat’s the difference between a prostitute, your mistress and your wife? The prostitute says, “Are you done yet?” Your mistress says, “You’re not done yet!” And your wife says, “Beige, I think we ought to paint the ceiling beige.”
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Let There Be Life
in JokesTwo beautiful statues were in a park, facing each other across the grass, one of a young girl and the other of a young man, looking towards each other like young lovers. These statues gave so much pleasure to people visiting the park that God looked down and decided to reward them with life for…
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Computer Class Fun
in JokesFor a computer programming class, I sat directly across from a girl, our computers facing away from each other. A few minutes into the class, she got up to leave the room. I reached between our computers and switched the inputs for the keyboards. She came back and started typing and immediately got a distressed…
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The Invitation
in Jokes“Honey,” said this husband to his wife, “I invited a friend home for supper.” “What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I didn’t go shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don’t feel like cooking a fancy meal!” “I know all that.” “Then why did you invite a friend for supper?” “Because…
