Jokes

  • Friend

    I’m so bad my imaginary friend left me.

  • A Hurricane Blew Across the Caribbean…

    A hurricane blew across the Caribbean. It didn’t take long for the expensive yacht to be swamped by high waves, sinking without a trace. There were only two survivors: the boat’s owner, Dr. Jones and the steward, Jack who managed to swim to the closest island. After reaching the deserted strip of land, the steward…

  • After a Few Years of Married Life…

    After a few years of married life, a man finds that he is unable to perform. He goes to his doctor, and his doctor tries a few things but nothing works. Finally the doctor says to him: “This is all in your mind,” and refers him to a psychiatrist. After a few visits, the shrink…

  • A Man Wanted a Big, Ferocious Dog…

    A man wanted a big, ferocious dog to protect his business, so he visited a kennel that specialized in attack dogs. The man explained to the kennel owner that he wanted the biggest, meanest, most vicious dog in the kennel, and the owner offered to take the man on a tour of the premises. After…

  • Mystery Song

    Mystery All my life has been a mystery You and I were never ever meant to be Thats why I call my love for you… a mystery. Different country You and I have always lived in different countries And I know that airline tickets don’t grow on a tree So what kept us apart is…

  • Prayers Answered

    A young boy called to his mother from the yard, “Mom, would you rather me fall out of a tree and break my arm or just tear a hole in my Sunday slacks?” “Well,” she replied, “I guess I’d pray that you just ripped your pants.” The kid yells back, “Your prayers have been answered!”

  • Old Jewish Beggar

    An old Jewish beggar was out on the street in New York City with his tin cup. “Please, sir,” he pleaded to a passerby, “could you spare seventy-three cents for a cup of coffee and some pie?” The man asked, “Where do you get coffee and pie for seventy-three cents in New York? It costs…

  • I’m Glad My Name is Amanda

    A blonde girl comes into her dad’s room and tells her dad… Amanda: Dad, I’m glad you named me Amanda. Dad: Why? Amanda: It’s because that’s what everyone calls me!

  • Faster

    Whats faster than a speeding bullet, more powerfull than a locomotive, able to leap tall buildings and has a carpark? Super market

  • Battery XXX Boodler

    Battery Fucked Boodler’s ass hard and soft yesterday! Maybe zat explains z growth in z population recently!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

  • Driving Home Very Drunk

    It seems a gentleman had too much alcohol at a party, was heading home, and was pulled over by a state trooper. Upon being tested, the fellow couldn’t walk a straight line any more than he could drive one, so the trooper wrote out a ticket and had just given it to the driver before…

  • Immigration – Problem, or Not? I

    California Version The latest telephone poll taken by the California Governor’s office asked whether people who live in California think illegal immigration is a serious problem: 29% of respondents answered: “Yes, it is a serious problem.” 71% of respondents answered: “No es un problema serio.”