Jokes
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I Don’t Approve…
in JokesI don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen too many of them get elected.
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From the Golden Age of Comedy
in Jokes“I don’t deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don’t deserve that either.” – Jack Benny “When I was born I was so surprised that I didn’t talk for a year and a half.” – Gracie Allen “I’d rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are; because a could-be is a…
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The Pope Driving
in JokesThe Pope goes to New York. He is picked up at the airport by a limousine. He looks at the beautiful car and says to the driver, “You know, I hardly ever get to drive. Would you please let me?” The driver is understandably hesitant and says, “I’m sorry, but I don’t think I’m supposed…
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The Difference Between Men and Women
in Jokes1. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t want. 2. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. 3. A successful man is one…
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Mr. or Mrs. Computer
in JokesIs your computer male of female? As you are aware, ships have long been characterized as being female (e.g., “Steady as she goes”, or “She’s listing to starboard, Captain!” Recently a group of computer scientists (all males) announced that computers should also be referred to as being female. Their reasons for drawing this conclusions follow:…
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barbie’s Christmas Letter To Santa
in Jokesbarbie c/o Mattel, Inc. El Segundo, CA 90245 To: Santa Claus North Pole, North Pole Dear Santa: Listen you ugly little troll, I’ve been helping you out every year, playing at being the perfect Christmas Present, wearing skimpy bathing suits in frigid weather, and drowning in fake tea from one too many tea parties, and…
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Giraffes Fit Into a Mini
in JokesQ: How many giraffes will fit into a Mini? A: None. It’s full of elephants.
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animal Lust
in JokesAn old farmer is having trouble getting his bull to breed with the cows and is lamenting the fact to a few of his friends down at the local beer hall. One of them says, “Ya know, Ben, I used to have the same trouble with my bull, but I got it fixed really quick.”…