5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • Mosquitios

    in

    Mosquitos consider most people as food, but grandma’s an open bar.

  • Healthy Texas

    in

    At the urging of his doctor, Bill moved to Texas. After settling in, he met a neighbor who was also an older man. “Say, is this really a healthy place?” “It sure is,” the man replied. “When I first arrived here I couldn’t say one word. I had hardly any hair on my head. I…

  • What Kind of Key.

    in

    What kind of key can’t open a door.

  • Leonid Ilyich is in Surgery

    in

    “Leonid Ilyich is in surgery.” / “Heart again?” / “No, chest expansion surgery: to fit one more Gold Star medal.”

  • Stealing

    in

    Don’t steal. The government hates competition.

  • As Good As It Gets

    in

    “Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons.” – Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949. “I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.” – Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943 “I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people,…

  • A Little Girl in Science

    in

    A little girl was sat in science, when she wet herself. She goes to her teacher and says “I’ve wet myself”. The teacher asks “Why didn’t you put your hand up?” She replies “I did, but it just ran down my hand!”

  • Purchasing Condoms

    in

    A man goes into a sportwear shop, and when a pretty blonde assistant asks him what he wants, he goes red in the face and stammers, “A packet of condoms, please.” The assistant says, “This is a sportwear shop, we don’t sell condoms!” and the man leaves. Two days later, he’s back. “A packet of…

  • Mmmm, Tasty

    in

    A hiker gets lost in the woods and spends the next two days wandering around with no food. Finally, he spots a bald eagle on a ledge, hits it with a big rock, and begins eating it raw. A park ranger stumbles on the scene and arrests the hiker for killing an endangered species. In…

  • Behind The Rock

    in

    Now here’s a classic joke that’s been told by many kids, that should be very well known . . . anyway, after you read this, it’s funny to try it on someone After every statement, say, “Behind the rock” 1. Billy went 2. He took off his shoes 3. He took off his socks 4.…

  • Plastic Surgery

    in

    A blonde went to her regular plastic surgion one day. When she walked in, he said to her, “What more can I do for you? I have changed your every part of your joke that you could think of! I even did your ears!” She replied, “Well, this is kind of embarrasing for me say…

  • Oops

    in

    Astronomers were excited this week at having isolated a brief sound which occurred immediately before the Big Bang. Apparently, that sound was “Uh oh.”