Jokes

  • I Don’t Approve…

    I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen too many of them get elected.

  • Pot

    A boy go to a girls house and notice her home is very messy and full of paper and clay pot and clothing all over. The boy tell her he bring some pot to her and she answer there is clay pot all over home.

  • Priceless

    Carton of eggs~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ $3 Ski mask~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ $14 Tickets to a Brittany concert~~~~~~ $84 Egging the crap out of America’s Pop Princess?? PRICELESS

  • From the Golden Age of Comedy

    “I don’t deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don’t deserve that either.” – Jack Benny “When I was born I was so surprised that I didn’t talk for a year and a half.” – Gracie Allen “I’d rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are; because a could-be is a…

  • The Pope Driving

    The Pope goes to New York. He is picked up at the airport by a limousine. He looks at the beautiful car and says to the driver, “You know, I hardly ever get to drive. Would you please let me?” The driver is understandably hesitant and says, “I’m sorry, but I don’t think I’m supposed…

  • The Difference Between Men and Women

    1. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t want. 2. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. 3. A successful man is one…

  • Alamo

    There are four people on a plane. a guy from england, a guy from france, a guy from texas, and a guy from mexico, all of a sudden the plane starts falling out of the sky. The pilot says “We a losing altitude we need to get rid of some weight. So they throw everything…

  • Mr. or Mrs. Computer

    Is your computer male of female? As you are aware, ships have long been characterized as being female (e.g., “Steady as she goes”, or “She’s listing to starboard, Captain!” Recently a group of computer scientists (all males) announced that computers should also be referred to as being female. Their reasons for drawing this conclusions follow:…

  • barbie’s Christmas Letter To Santa

    barbie c/o Mattel, Inc. El Segundo, CA 90245 To: Santa Claus North Pole, North Pole Dear Santa: Listen you ugly little troll, I’ve been helping you out every year, playing at being the perfect Christmas Present, wearing skimpy bathing suits in frigid weather, and drowning in fake tea from one too many tea parties, and…

  • Sign

    Sign in a Chinese Pet Store: “Buy one dog, get one flea…”

  • Giraffes Fit Into a Mini

    Q: How many giraffes will fit into a Mini? A: None. It’s full of elephants.

  • animal Lust

    An old farmer is having trouble getting his bull to breed with the cows and is lamenting the fact to a few of his friends down at the local beer hall. One of them says, “Ya know, Ben, I used to have the same trouble with my bull, but I got it fixed really quick.”…