5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • Bad Cards to Give on Valentines Day

    in

    10. I admire your strength, I admire your spunk But the thing I like best, is getting you drunk. 9. Our love will never become cold and hollow Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow. 8. I bought this Valentine’s card at the store In hopes that, later, you’d be my whore. 7. This feels…

  • The Bishop And His Ass

    in

    A preacher wanted to raise money for his church and on being told that there was a fortune in horse racing, decided to purchase a horse and enter it in the races. However, at the local auction, the going price for horses was so high that he ended up buying a donkey instead. He figured…

  • User Errors

    in

    Attempting to enter a case-sensitive password with caps-lock on. Not checking to ensure that the computer is indeed plugged in. Clicking Yes on message boxes without reading them properly and deleting important files. Forgetting to plug an ethernet cable into their laptop’s network card when in the office. Allowing sessions to timeout when using a…

  • Fly

    in

    What do you call a fly without wings? A walk.

  • You’re a Redneck If… #1

    in

    You’re a redneck if: The only thing you swing a bat at is a mailbox.

  • MJ Jokes

    in

    What’s the difference between MJ and a grocery bag? One is white, made of plastic, dangerous for children to play with, and the other one holds groceries! Why does MJ like Wal-Mart? Because they have boys’ pants half off! What time is bedtime in Neverland? When the big hand touches the little hand! And now,…

  • Juicey-Juice

    in

    I found this on a can of Juicey-Juice 100% Juice. Just add water.

  • Useful Things To Note

    in

    For Stupid: Hey, your house is calling, and they’re missing their idiot. Where were you when God gave out brains? How many times have you crawled into the hole that said ‘lowers your IQ’? Did you get dropped on your head when you were little and your mom said you were just ‘special’? Did you…

  • The Gum was Mad

    in

    Q. Why was the Gum so mad in class? A. It was Chewed Out!

  • Emergency Course

    in

    A blonde, brunette, and redhead all go into a building to take an emergency course. After a few minutes of introductions, the instructor of the course starts to talk about fire. “Wherever you see a fire, you need to call 911, imediately.” After an hour or so of the lecture, the brunette makes an excuse…

  • Clintons Testimony By Dr Seuss

    in

    I did not do it in a car I did not do it in a bar I did not do it in the dark I did not do it in the park I did not do it on a date I did not ever fornicate I did not do it at a dance I did…

  • Shoes

    in

    Yo Momma’s feet smell so bad that her shoes committed suicide.