5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • Mom, What’s Sex?

    in

    A little boy returning home from his first day at school said to his mother, “Mom, what’s sex?” His mother, who believed in all the most modern educational theories, gave him a detailed explanation, covering all aspects of the tricky subject. When she had finished, the little lad produced an enrollment form which he had…

  • Quotes From Famous Mothers III

    in

    NAPOLEON’S MOTHER: “All right, Napoleon. If you aren’t hiding your report card inside your jacket, then take your hand out of there and prove it!” CUSTER’S MOTHER: “Now, George, remember what I told you – don’t go biting off more than you can chew!” ABRAHAM LINCOLN’S MOTHER: “Again with the stovepipe hat, Abe? Can’t you…

  • There’s Something People Hate About Mary

    in

    Mary was having a tough day and had stretched herself out on the couch to do a bit of what she thought to be well-deserved complaining and self- pitying. She moaned to her mom and brother, “Nojoke loves me … the whole world hates me!” Her brother, busily occupied playing a game, hardly looked up…

  • The Best Of Everything

    in

    A Newfie goes to Toronto to seek his fortune, and after a couple of years is doing very well for himself. His brother calls from Newfoundland to tell him their father is very ill and probably won’t survive. “Well, if he dies I’ll pay for the funeral; the best of everything, spare no expense, just…

  • What Type of Snake

    in

    There where two snakes talking. The 1st one said, “Sidney, are we the type of snake who wrap ourselves around our prey and squeeze and crush until they’re dead? Or are we the type of snake who ambush our prey and bite them and they are poisioned?” The second snake says, “Why do you ask?”…

  • Davy Crockett

    in

    How many ears did Davy Crockett have? 3 – His right ear, his left ear, and his wild front-ear.

  • Do Know If You are Crazy About Medieval Times?

    in

    WARNING: if your answer “yes” to any of these questions then you know that you are weird and you believe too much in dragons. Ocasionally when you see a bird do you find yourself saying “O merlin hand me my mighty sword so I can slay this foul dragon”? Do you find yourself trying to…

  • Wattle You Have?

    in

    What do you call a Mexican with a vasectomy? A dry Martinez.

  • Actual Headlines

    in

    Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus? Prostitutes Appeal to Pope Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax Miners Refuse to Work after Death Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant Stolen Painting Found by Tree Two…

  • Romeo and Juliet

    in

    (to be read aloud) ‘Twas in a restaurant they met Romeo and Juliet But Romeo couldn’t pay the bill So Romee-owed what Julie ate (“ett”).

  • How to Treat Our Brothers and Sisters

    in

    A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to “honor thy father and thy mother,” she asked “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?” Without missing a beat one little boy answered, “Thou shall not kill.”

  • Bishop, Priest, Rabbi

    in

    A bishop, a priest, and a Rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says, “What is this, a joke?”