Sloth

  • Amputation

    A patient wakes up after having surgery to remove a gangrenous leg. Doctor: “I have good news and bad news.” Patient: “What’s the bad news?” Doctor: “The bad news is that we amputated the wrong leg.” Patient: “That’s terrible! What’s the good news?” Doctor: “We think the other leg is going to make it alright.”

  • Broccoli

    Broccoli, while not exoccoli, Is within an inach of being spinach.

  • Spoon

    A blonde says to a brunette, ”Excuse me, but each time I sip my coffee, my eye seems to hurt.” The brunette says, ”Well maybe you should take the spoon out of the cup.”

  • Tequila Waste

    Three guys go into a bar: a guy from Dallas, a guy from San Francisco, and a guy from Boulder. They drank and got a little rowdy. Suddenly, completely without warning, the Texan grabbed a bottle of tequila, unscrewed the top, took a good swig, and threw the bottle into the air. He then jerked…

  • Funny Names * Long List! *

    Funny Names of Real People A. Blinkin A. Nicholas Fivepennies Aaron D. Tires Aaron Jeglad Aaron Yerfavor Abbie Birthday Abbie Seenia Abe L. Tuwok Abe Ozo Abe Rudder Abel N. Willan Abner Period Acassa Beer Acassa Coke Achilles Punks Ada Burger Adam Baum Adam Meway Adam Pimple Adam Zapple Adelaide Evening Adolph D’Plate Agusta Wind…

  • One-Eyed Blonde

    Two blondes are walking down the road when one says ”Look at that dog with one eye!” The other blonde covers one of her eyes and says ”Where?”

  • A Dog’s Chalk Board Assignments

    This list of chalkboard assignments may be used for your dog when he does not behave well. The below variations and choices will help you pick an assignment. A. Fill in the blanks 1. [xxx] is not food. Spiders; bandaids; ivy and airplane plants; Xmas ornaments; the carved jack-o-lantern; plants from the aquarium; cat litter…

  • Around

    Yo momma so stupid, she looked in the Cd player for her cassette tape!

  • Adopt an NBA Player

    THE NBA PLAYER ADOPTION PROGRAM NEEDS YOU! With an NBA player’s strike against the team owners looming, now is the time for us to show the world just how much we care. It’s just not right. Hundreds of basketball players in our very own country are living at or just below the seven-figure salary level!…

  • Took Him For a Ride

    Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student aide, Sam found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn’t need Sam’s help to leave the hospital. After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly…

  • Why Does a Chicken Cross the Street?

    Why does a chicken cross the street? Because it wants to get on the other side!

  • Friday

    There was a guy he had to deliver a package to the nearest town which took three days to get there. If he leaves on Friday and arrives on Friday how is that possible? He doesn’t stop to rest. *His horse’s name is Friday.