5W1H boo!

Sloth

  • Gets Stoned

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    Do you think god gets stoned? I do. Look at the platypus! -Robin Williams

  • NOTICE:

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    The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. this Christmas. This isn’t for any religious constitutional reason. They simply have not been able to find three wise men and a virgin in the Nation’s capitol. There was, however, no problem finding enough asses to fill the stable.

  • The Internet…

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    My kids love going to the Web, and they keep track of their passwords by writing them on Post-it notes. Their Disney password was “GoofyMickeyMinniePluto” and I asked why it was so long. “Because,” my son explained, “they said it had to have at least four characters.”

  • Putting One’s Foot In It!

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    A man limped into a hospital to have his foot X-rayed, and was asked to wait for the results. Some time later an orderly appeared and handed the man a large pill. Just then a mother with a small child in need of immediate attention entered. After the orderly disappeared with the new patient, the…

  • The Lord Giveth . . .

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    The old Lord of the Manor was finally on his death-bed, and had called his servants to his bed-side. To his butler, he said, “Jeeves, you have been with me now for nearly 40 years, and for your loyal service I shall leave you Ashley Hall, with its 74 rooms, and a 100% pension.” “Thank…

  • 111 Ways to Annoy People

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    Annoy People ——————————————————————————– 1. Pay tolls with $100 bills 2. Leave your supermarket cart on the street or in the middle of the parking lot 3. Eat produce at the market; don’t buy it 4. When giving directions, leave out a turn or two 5. Leave the outdoor Christmas decorations up until March or April…

  • Stop

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    A policeman was on duty when he got a complaint, so he went to go check it out. The complaint was that a sport car had not moved from a corner and was holding up traffic. When he got there, he went to the car and asked the blonde lady in it why she was…

  • Christmas Carol

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    Racing through the snow a onewarde southern sleigh, all the way we go bahing through the trees, the snow is turning red, I think i’m almost dead, all the children laugh and play around my stupid head!

  • What Children Say VI

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    CONFIDENTIAL OPINIONS ABOUT LOVE “I’m in favor of love as long as it doesn’t happen when ‘Dinosaurs’ is on television.” Jill, age 6. “Love is foolish…..but I might try it sometime.” Floyd, age 9. “Yesterday I kissed a girl in a private place…we were behind a tree.” Carey, age 7. THE PERSONAL QUALITIES YOU NEED…

  • Col. Murphy’s Law of Combat:

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    Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder!

  • One-legged Lady

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    What do you call a one-legged lady? Eileen!

  • Whats that smell?

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    Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? Johnny a three-year-old had a lot of problems with potty training and his mother was with him constantly. One day they stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying her…