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Sloth

  • Chuck Norris Facts: 32

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    Whoever said “only the good die young” was probably in Chuck Norris’s kindergarten class. Chuck Norris once skewered a man with the Eiffel tower. The best part of waking up, is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Chuck Norris didn’t kill you in your sleep. Chuck Norris doesn’t own a can opener, he…

  • 英文曲解

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    BASIC: Bill”s Attempt to Seize Industry Control（比尔的企图：夺取工业控制） ISDN: It Still Does Nothing（它仍然什么都不做） DOS: Defunct Operating System（已死亡的操作系统） MACINTOSH: Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs（大部分功能崩溃，如果没有，则操作系统挂起） WINDOWS: Will Install Needless Data On Whole System（将在所有系统中安装无用数据） MICROSOFT: Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers（大部分聪明的用户认识到我们的软件仅仅欺骗年轻人）

  • Circles

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    Why is a circle so hot???? Because it’s 360 degrees!!!

  • How Many Apples

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    During a recent expedition, three intrepid adventurers were left stranded in the middle of the desert with only a crate full of apples. During the night, Alan woke up and decided to hide his share of the apples, one-third, then promptly fell asleep again. Brian woke up shortly after and also decided to hide a…

  • Born Naked

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    We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our ass… then things get worse.

  • Pajamas

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    A man phones home from the office and tells his wife, “Something has just come up. I have the chance to go fishing for a week. It’s the opportunity of a lifetime. We leave right away, so can you pack my clothes, my fishing equipment, and especially my blue silk pajamas? I’ll be home in…

  • Visiting Grandma…

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    A grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson, who is coming to visit with his wife: “You come to the front door of the apartment complex. I am in apartment 14T. There is a big panel at the door. With your elbow, push button 14T. I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator…

  • Blond Inventions

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    Glow in the dark sunglasses A book on how to read A dictionary index Watermelon seed sorter Zero proof alcohol Reusable ice cubes See through toilet tissue Skinless bananas Do it yourself roadmap

  • Batty Books 2!

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    Crime and Punishment by Laura Norda The Use of Natural Fertilizers; by G.G. Dunnit The Way to Quick Riches; by Robbin Banks Holidays in Britain; by A. Pauline Whetha Contagious Diseases; by Willie Catchit Driving Through Germany; by Otto Mobile Broken Window; by Eva Brick Monsters; by Frank N. Stein Cliff Tragedy; by Eileen Dover…

  • Yo Momma’s So Fat….

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    Yo mommas is so fat it takes a twinky and a tub of butter to get her through the door.

  • White Horse

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    A white horse walked into a bar. The barman saw him and said, “We have a whiskey named after you!” The horse looked puzzled and said, “What, Eric?”

  • Knowing Your Client

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    A motorcycle officer stopped a man who ran a red light. The guy was a real jerk, demanding, “Why am I being harassed by the Gestapo?!” The officer calmly told him of his violation. The man erupted in a tirade, questioning the officer’s ancestry and pastimes in explicit terms. The officer took it in stride,…