5W1H boo!

Sloth

  • Dropping Sandwiches

    in

    An elderly man refuses to leave for the air raid shelter until he can find his dentures. His wife yells at him, “What, you think they are dropping sandwiches?”

  • Penny and Nickel

    in

    Why did the penny become angry with the nickel? Because the nickel was a “penny pincher”.

  • Dumby

    in

    Yo mama is so dumb it took her an hour to make minute rice!!!

  • A Fat Man

    in

    How do you know if a 500-pound man is a millionaire? (That’s 500-pound fat, not muscle.) Because he will have a totally hot, blonde, babe on his arm.

  • Doing Nothing – A Lesson in Life

    in

    Mr. Turtle was walking down the road when he spotted a crow at the tip top of a very tall tree. He shouted, “Good Morning, Mr. Crow.” Mr. Crow shouted back down, “Good Morning Mr. Turtle.” Mr. Turtle shouted up, “Whatcha doin’ today?” and the answer shouted back down was, “Absolutely nothin’ Mr. Turtle –…

  • Native American Trader

    in

    An old Native American wanted a loan of $500. He approached his local banker. The banker pulled out the loan application, asking, “What are you going to do with the money?” “Take jewelry to city and sell it,” said the old man. “What have you got for collateral?” queried the banker, going strictly by the…

  • Teacher’s First Days of School

    in

    After the last teacher quit, a new teacher was hired. On her first day of work, she saw “AAFTWC” on the board. “What is the meaning of this?” the new teacher asked. A white kid stood up and replied, “An apple from the white children.” On her second day, the teacher walked in, and saw…

  • The Church Gossip

    in

    Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church’s morals, kept sticking her nose into other people’s business. Several members did not approve of her extra-curricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence. She made a mistake, however, when she accused George, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw…

  • Wives

    in

    There are three guys talking in the pub. Two of them are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third remains quiet. After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says, “Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your…

  • Yes We Can 3

    in

    I think the next election just got a lot easier for President Obama ’cause his response to every question during the debates will be: ‘Wait, I forget…Did you kill Osama Bin Laden? Or did I kill Osama Bin Laden. Oh no, it was me, wasn’t it?’” –Craig Ferguson “President Obama must be very happy because…

  • The Apples

    in

    An agriculture student said to a farmer: “Your methods are too old-fashioned. I wouldn’t be surprised if this tree gave you less than twenty pounds of apples.” “Wouldn’t surprise me, either,” said the farmer, “this is an orange tree.”

  • Quarter

    in

    Little Johnny was playing with his father’s wallet when he accidently swallowed a quarter. He went crying to his mom, choking on the quarter. They took him to a doctor, who said that the quarter was impossible to remove without surgery, they consulted a specialist who was of the same opinion. Then came a man…