Sloth
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Busted!
in JokesResolving to surprise her husband, an executive’s wife stopped by his office. When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap. Without hesitating, he dictated, “…and in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair.”
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In A Right State
in JokesTwo people are discussing whether the state of Hawaii is pronounced ‘Havaii’ or ‘Hawaii’. So they stood there arguing and arguing, until they decided to ask a person that was walking by. They asked the gentleman: “Excuse me sir, is Hawaii pronounced ‘Havaii’ or ‘Hawaii’?” The gentleman said, “Havaii.” So they looked at each other,…
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Irish Blessing
in JokesMay your troubles be as few and far between as your great-grandmother’s teeth.
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The Chicken Who Crossed the Road
in JokesPerson A: Why did the chicken cross the road? Person B: Is this a trick question?
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Yesterday For IT People
in JokesYesterday, All those backups seemed a waste of pay. Now my database has gone away. Oh I believe in yesterday. Suddenly, There’s not half the files there used to be, And there’s a milestone hanging over me The system crashed so suddenly. I pushed something wrong What it was I could not say. Now all…
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CRACK
in JokesA blond and a brunette were opening their paychecks when the blond asked the brunette what she was going to buy. The brunette replied, “I think I’ll buy a new set of plates because mine are chipped. What are you going to buy?” The blond said, “I think I’m gonna buy a new butt, because…
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sportmen Quotes III
in Jokes1986. Jim Finks, New Orleans Saints G.M., when asked after a loss what he thought of the refs: “I’m not allowed to comment on lousy officiating.” 1991. Alan Kulwicki, stock car racer, on racing Saturday nights as opposed to Sunday afternoons: “It’s basically the same, just darker.” 1976. Greg Buttle, New York Jet linebacker, explaining…
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The Priest in Alaska
in JokesA priest was assigned a small church in the Alaskan backwoods. After a couple of years, the bishop stopped by to see how he was doing. “Ah, Bishop, it’s really lonely here. I couldn’t have made it without my Rosary and two martinis a day.” The bishop replied, “You know, a martini would taste good…
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Annoy5
in JokesWays To Annoy People In The Computer Lab Bring some dry ice & make it look like your computer is smoking. Light candles in a circle around your terminal before starting. Play “Pong” for hours on the most powerful computer in the lab. Try to stick a Nintendo cartridge into the 3 1/2 disc drive,…
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The Microsoft Cheesecake
in JokesA guy walks into the Microsoft Shop. Guy: I’d like a cheesecake, please. Receptionist: Sure. The receptionist hands him a block of cheese. Guy: Umm… This is just the cheese. Where’s the cake? Rec: You have to purchase that seperately. Guy: What the —-? What kind of product are you trying to sell me? Oh…
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The Blonde’s Special Order
in JokesA brunette, a redhead and a blonde went to an ice cream parlor together. The brunette went up and asked for a Dr. Pepper float with no ice cream. The counter man was confused, but gave her a Dr. Pepper float with no ice cream. The redhead went up and asked for a single dip…