Sloth
-
Kids View on School
in JokesA little girl had just finished her first week of school. “I’m wasting my time,” she said to her mother. “I can’t read, I can’t write – and they won’t let me talk!” ——————– On the way home from the first day of school, the father asked his son, “What did you do at school…
-
Dogs Vs. Cats
in JokesThere is a major difference between the way a dog thinks and the way a cat thinks. A dog says, “You feed me, shelter me, pamper me, and love me. You must be God.” A cat says, “You feed me, shelter me, pamper me, and love me. I must be God.”
-
Yo Mama Comebacks
in JokesLet’s get off moms, ’cause I just got off yours. Let’s get off moms, ’cause she can’t handle those five men on her now. I ain’t got nuthin’ bad to say ’bout Yo mama, ’cause her face says it all! I’m sorry, I shouldn’t talk about Yo mama, ’cause I don’t even know the man.…
-
The Worlds’ Shortest Fairytale
in JokesOnce upon a time, a guy asked a girl, “Will you marry me?” The girl said, “NO!” The guy lived happily ever after and went fishing and hunting. He played golf a lot, drank beer, and farted whenever he wanted.
-
I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!
in JokesThree retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day. One remarked to the other, “Windy, isn’t it?” “No,” the second man replied, “it’s Thursday.” And the third man chimed in, “So am I. Let’s have a beer.”
-
More Headlines
in JokesLawyer Says Client is Not That Guilty (Just how guilty was he?) Legislator Wants Tougher Death Penalty (I say, give it to him.) Man Jumps Off Bridge. Neither Jumper Nor joke Found (What?) After Detour to California Shuttle Returns to Earth (Well, this confirms what many of us have suspected about California.) Woman Improving After…
-
Top 20 Homicides of the Year
in Jokes20. Alex Mijtus, 36 years old, is killed by his wife, armed with a 20″ long vibrator. Mrs Mijtus had had enough of her husbands strange sex practices, and one night during a prolonged being of “fun” she snapped, pushing all 20″ of the vibrator into Alex’s anus until it ruptured several internal organs and…
-
Holy . . . !
in JokesFour Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee. The first Catholic man tells his friends, “My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him ‘Father’.” The second Catholic man chirps, “My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him ‘Your Grace’.” The third…
-
Intelligence
in JokesTwo men were digging a ditch on a very hot day. One said to the other, “Why are we down in this hole digging a ditch when our boss is standing up there in the shade of a tree?” “I don’t know,” responded the other. “I’ll ask him.” So he climbed out of the hole…
-
Devotion
in JokesDave went on a business trip for a few days. When he returned, his wife reported that the dog really missed him. “She spent every night at the front door, waiting for you to come home,” she said. “What an example of devotion,” Dave replied. “I wonder if you’d be that concerned about me?” “Honey,”…
-
A Small Boy…
in JokesA small boy stunned his parents after Sunday School when he began to empty his pockets of nickels, dimes and quarters. Finally his mother asked the obvious question, “Where did you get all that money?” “At church,” the boy replied nonchalantly. “They have bowls of it.”