Sloth
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Satellite Dishes
in JokesLast summer, my husband, Bill, took me camping for the first time. At every opportunity, he passed along outdoor-survival lore. One day we got lost hiking in the deep woods. Bill tried the usual tactics to determine direction – moss on the trees (there was no moss), direction of the sun (it was an overcast…
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Smoking – No No!!
in JokesPLEASE DON’T SMOKE IN MY OFFICE! I enjoy sex more than you enjoy smoking but you don’t see me screwing in your office.
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Just Posing a Question…
in JokesEver walk into a room and forget what you came in for? Well, that’s probably how dogs spend most of their lives…
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Bungee Jumping
in JokesEric A. barcia, a 22-year-old Reston, VA resident, was found dead yesterday after he used bungee cords to jump off a 70-foot railroad trestle, police said. The fast food worker taped a number of bungee cords together and strapped one end around his foot. barcia had the foresight to anchor the other end to the…
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State Slogans
in JokesAlabama: At Least We’re not Mississippi Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can’t be Wrong! Arizona: But It’s a Dry Heat Arkansas: Litterasy Ain’t Everthing California: As Seen on TV Colorado: If You Don’t Ski, Don’t Bother Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only Dirtier and With Less Character Delaware: We Really Do Like the Chemicals in our Water Florida: Ask…
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Stupid Prisoner
in JokesThere were three prisoners who were about to be executed by the electric chair. The guards strapped down the first one, a Frenchman, onto the chair, and they asked him for his last words. “Vive la France!” he said, meaning ‘Long live France’. When they pulled the switch, nothing happened. Everyone was amazed and thought…
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Annoy2
in JokesHow To Annoy People In An Elevator: Ask, “Did you hear that cable snapping sound?” Call the psychic hotline from you cell phone, and ask if they know what floor you’re on. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, “That’s mine!” Hum the theme from Mission Impossible…
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Cross the Road #1
in JokesQ: What did the chicken say after it crossed the road? A: “Why is everyone always talking about me?”
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WIFE VS. HUSBAND
in JokesA couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, “Relatives of yours?” “Yep,” the wife replied, “in-laws.”
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More Rope
in JokesThere was a virgin who wanted to marry a farmer boy. One day, she went to his parents’ house for dinner. When they got done eating dinner, they decided to go for a walk through the pasture. While they were walking, they came upon 2 horses that were mating. She looks at them with wonder…