5W1H boo!

Sloth

  • Bad Jokes 1

    in

    How do you know policemen are strong? Because they can hold up traffic. What do termites eat for breakfast? Oakmeal. What do massage therapists eat for dinner? Spa-ghetti. Why were the suspenders arrested? For holding up a pair of pants. How does the queen bee get around her hive? She’s throne. What do bees do…

  • Diamonds Are . . .

    in

    A businessman boarded a plane and sat next to Hannah, an elegant woman wearing the largest and most stunning diamond ring he had ever seen. He asked her about it. “This is the Egoheimer diamond,” Hannah said. “It’s beautiful, but there is a terrible curse that goes with it.” “What’s the curse?” the man asked.…

  • THE CIGARS

    in

    A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sums of money was saying to his lawyer, “If I lose this case, I’ll be ruined.” “It’s in the judge’s hands now,” said the lawyer. “Would it help if I sent the judge a box of cigars?” asked the defendant. “Oh no!” said the lawyer. “This judge is…

  • Chinese Prank

    in

    There lived a Chinese and an American in a hotel. One day, the Chinese felt thirsty, so he decided to get a drink of water. So he went to the public refrigerator, took a can of coke, and drank it. Then he wanted to go pee, so he peed in the can, closed the cap,…

  • Old Preachers Last Wish

    in

    An old preacher was dying. He sent a message for his IRS agent and his Lawyer (both church members), to come to his home. When they arrived, they were ushered up to his bedroom. As they entered the room, the preacher held out his hands and motioned for them to sit on each side of…

  • Ass Like that

    in

    There was this old woman who heard a song called “Two Lips and Seven Kisses.” She called up information after hearing the song on the radio to get the name of the record company. In dialing, she erroneously called up a gas station, and she asks, “Do you have “Two Lips and Seven Kisses?” The…

  • Storytime!

    in

    One day at class, Mrs. Stryo has a storytelling contest. She tells the class that the boy or girl with the best story will get a bag of candy. Jay, a clever boy, thinks of a story. “One day, there is a storm.” He begins. “Someone’s house gets ripped apart by this storm, leaving furniture…

  • What Did the Director Say?

    in

    What did the director say after making the Mummy Movie? “It’s a Wrap!”

  • Lonely Gorilla

    in

    A male gorilla at the zoo had been separated from his mate for several months and was really horny. One night after the zoo had closed and all the animal keepers had left, he decided he was going to tear the bars apart and screw the first thing he could find. As he left his…

  • How to be Politically Correct With Women I

    in

    She does not HATE TELEVISED sport – she is ATHLETICALLY IGNORANT. She has not BEEN AROUND – she is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION. She does not WEAR TOO MUCH PERFUME – she commits FRAGRANCE ABUSE. She does not GO SHOPPING – she is MALL FLUENT. She is not an AIR HEAD – she is REALITY…

  • Old Timer Loving

    in

    A ninety-year-old man living in a rest home was granted a weekend pass. He stopped in his favorite bar, sat at the end, and ordered a drink. He noticed a seventy-year-old woman at the other end of the bar, and told the bartender to buy the lovely young lady a drink. As the evening progressed,…

  • In a Minute

    in

    A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She walked around to look at the artwork. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, “I’m drawing God.” The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows what God…