Sloth
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What Would They Say…
in Jokes3 guys die in a car wreck and are sent to heaven. At the gates St. Peter asks the three men what they would want their families to say at the funeral. The first man says, “I want them to say I was an excellent husband and a great police officer.” The second man says,…
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Seven, Eight, Garden Gate
in JokesHey, pal! Buddy, friend, mate, amigo! I’ve just heard that I won first prize in a competition! It’s a ten-day holiday for me and five others to Disney World! So I was wondering, if you’re not doing anything next Wednesday, if you could put my garbage can out for collection!
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What’s In Store For You?
in JokesWal-mart is planning on opening fifty new stores in areas that are blighted. Ironically, the official definition of blighted is what happens to an area when Wal-mart opens a store nearby.
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Computer Trouble
in JokesA man called the computer company because he was having trouble with his computer. A woman answered the phone. “Hello. May I help you? “Yes. I’m having trouble with my computer. Every time I press the enter key my computer goes biserk.” “I think I know what you should do.” “Really?” “Yes.” “What should I…
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Too Late, He’s Long Dead
in JokesThe orthopedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new office, and his staff was helping transport many of the items. I sat the display skeleton in the front of my car, and had fastened the seatbelt around it to stop it falling over. I hadn’t considered the drive across town. At one traffic…
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New Horse
in JokesHere are two versions of the same story– A certain man was passing through a small town and wanted to upgrade his mode of transportation. So he looked all around this small town he was in and found that the only place he could buy a faster means of transportation was at the local monastery.…
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Brown and Stinky
in JokesHere is a fragment of a crossword puzzle. P _ O _ _ _ Clue: Something that is often brown and hard to clean. Answer: Poodle.
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Things Kids Still Say
in JokesA little girl went into the barber shop to get a haircut. When the barber was cutting her hair he realized she was eating a little debbie snack. He said, “Sweetie, you’re going to get hair on your twinkie.” The little girl answered, “I know, and I’m going to get boobs, too.”