5W1H boo!

Sloth

  • First Time Intimacy

    in

    A young man from Peking and a first generation Chinese American woman get married. On the wedding night he climbs into bed next to her and tries to be reassuring, saying, “My darling, I know this is your first time and you must be frightened.” She says that is true but she will do anything…

  • Fat and Hairy

    in

    Yo momma is so fat and hairy, that if she dyed her hair green, people would use her for golf practice.

  • Cans

    in

    There was a man who went to buy some guns. The salesman at the store asked what he wanted to shoot. He said, “Cans” So the salesman asked, “What kind of cans?” “Ameri-cans, Afri-cans,,,,”

  • Chrome Plate

    in

    A man went to his dentist because he has a strange feeling in his mouth. The dentist examines him and says, “That new upper plate I put in for you six months ago is eroding. What have you been eating?” The man replies, “All I can think of is that about four months ago my…

  • Emo Phillips

    in

    I’m not Catholic, but I gave up picking my belly button for lint. At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote. I got some new underwear the other day. Well, new to me.

  • More All New Words

    in

    Take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are some winners: Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the reader who doesn’t get it. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very high. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of obtaining…

  • Attention

    in

    Teacher: Can you pay a little attention to this lesson?! Pupil: I am trying my best to pay as little attention as I can!!

  • Honest Lawyer

    in

    What do you call an honest lawyer? An oxymoron.

  • His First Parachute Jump

    in

    Just before a new redneck had his first parachute jump, his sergeant reminded him, “Count to ten, and then pull the first rip cord. If it snarls, pull the second rip cord for your auxiliary chute. After you land, our truck will pick you up.” The paratrooper took a deep breath and jumped. He counted…

  • The Bear and the Rabbit

    in

    There was once a big ol’ tough bear strolling through the forest looking for some silly hunter to maul, when he suddenly got the urge to pass the last hunter he had eaten. He stopped by the side of the path and proceeded to dump away. Well, as he was sitting there, a cute little…

  • Ms. Suzy

    in

    Ms. Suzy had a steam boat, the steam boat had a bell! The steam boat went to heaven, Ms. Suzy went to… Hello operator, please give me number nine! And if you disconnect me, I’ll chop off your… Behind the frigerator, there was a piece of glass! Ms. Suzy sat upon it, and broke her…

  • What Did…

    in

    What did the number 0 say to the number 8? “Hey, nice belt!”