Sloth
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What is Politics?
in JokesA little boy goes to his father one day and says, “Daddy, what is politics?” “Well,” his father replied, “let me try to explain it to you this way. Let’s say that you’re the people. I’m the breadwinner of the family so we’ll call me the economy. Your mother is in charge so we’ll call…
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Blowin’ In The Wind
in JokesWhat did the tornado say to the pecan tree? “Hold onto your nuts, this is not your average blow job!” What has four hands and eats aunts? Two uncles. What do you get when you cross an onion with a donkey? Usually an onion with long ears, but sometime you get a piece of ass…
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DESPERATE!!!!
in JokesI know this isn’t a joke, but I really need help. I need some advice on what could be a life changing decision. I’ve suspected for some time now that my girlfriend has been having an affair. The usual signs – phone rings, I answer, someone hangs up. She started going out ‘with the girls’…
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Your Star Wars Name
in JokesTo get your Star Wars name, do the following: 1) Start with the 1st 3 letters of your last name 2) Add the first two letters of your first name 3) Add the first two letters of your mother’s maiden name 4) Add the first two letters of the city in which you were born…
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Good News/bad News
in JokesAnnouncer, at a diving competition: “Ladies and gentlemen, we have both good and bad news to announce. The good news is that the dive just performed was fantastic and the judges have managed to give it a full score of ten. The bad news is… there was no water in the pool.”
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Einstein and Newton
in JokesWhat is the similarity between Einstein and Newton? Neither of them ever had a mobile phone!
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Don’t Pee in the Pool
in JokesLittle Johnny is approached by the lifeguard at the public swimming pool. “You’re not allowed to pee in the pool,” says the lifeguard. “I’m going to report you.” “But everyone pees in the pool,” whined Little Johnny. “Maybe,” answered the lifeguard, “but not from the diving board!”
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Windows95 Compared to Jesus
in JokesIf you have half a brain, you can’t help but notice the throng of publications, analysts and net users declaring Windows95 the Saviour of the Computer Industry. If you have less than half a brain, you probably believe it. Could it be? To find out, let’s compare Windows95 against a widely-accepted Saviour, Jesus of Nazareth:…
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The Parrots
in JokesA woman had two female parrots who were always yelling, “We’re prostitutes, wanna have a little fun?” One day, she was talking to her Preacher about this. He said he had two male parrots and all they did was read the Bible. He thought perhaps they would be a good influence on the two females.…
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How to Have Fun at a Boring Party
in JokesSpeak in a strange foreign accent. when someone asks where you are from, name a country only you can pronounce. Use a different accent every time you talk to someone new. When getting food, pile everything onto your plate in heaping servings – make sure to use your hands! Ask the host, “Who threw this…