Sloth
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Repeat Offender
in JokesA judge scowled down at a repeat offender before him. “Haven’t I seen you in here many times already? And didn’t I tell you that I never wanted to see you in here again?” “Yes, Your Honor,” the defendant replied. “That’s exactly what I told the police officer, but he insisted I come in anyway!”
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Cat in the Way
in JokesTwo church members were going door to door, and knocked on the door of a woman who was not happy to see them. She told them in no uncertain terms that she did not want to hear their message and slammed the door in their faces. To her surprise, however, the door did not close…
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4 Ways to Annoy Your Boyfriend
in Jokes1. Send him to the store for tampons, telling him to ask which is the best brand. 2. When he tells you he loves you say, “I do, wait, I don’t love you!” 3. Tell him you’re a covicted serial killer everytime he asks you how are you. 4. Spill his favorite and most expensive…
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Chinese Juice
in JokesAn airplane takes off from the airport. The Captain is Jewish and the First Officer is Chinese. It’s the first time they’ve flown together and it’s obvious, by the silence, that they don’t get along. After thirty minutes, the Jewish Captain mutters: “I don’t like Chinese.” The First Officer replies: “Oooooh, no like Chinese? Why…
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What it Takes. . .
in JokesYou probably know for a fact that Adolf Hitler had only one testicle. And here we say ”You got to have balls to become a leader”
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Class Reunion
in JokesI recently went to my 30th class reunion from nursery school. I didn’t want to go because I’ve put on maybe 90 or 100 pounds since then.
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Marriages Made In . . . .?
in JokesIf Ida Lupino married George Wendt, then divorced him to marry Ted Danson, divorced him to marry Alan Alda, then divorced him to marry Ted Knight, and divorced him to marry Shelly Long, she’d be Ida Wendt Danson Alda Knight Long. If Whoopi Goldberg married Peter Cushing, she’d be Whoopi Cushing. If Swoosie Kurtz married…