Sloth
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Kids Are Quick
in JokesTEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America. MARIA: Here it is. TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America? CLASS: Maria. __________________________________________ TEACHER: John,why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables. __________________________________________ TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell “crocodile?” GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L”…
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Eve and Adam?
in JokesEve, in the Garden of Eden, called out, “Lord, I have a problem.” And the Lord said, “What’s the matter, Eve?” “I know You created me and this beautiful garden. But I’m lonely – and I’m sick of eating apples.” “Well, in that case,” replied the Almighty, “I’ll create a man for you.” “What’s a…
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Security Concerns
in JokesI have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every second one! I figure, no matter how long somejoke stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three for each three they unlock!
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Dream
in JokesJack tells his shrink, “Last night I dreamed you were my mother.” “How did you feel about it after you woke up?” asks the psychiatrist. “I overslept,” answers Jack. “Then I remembered I had an appointment with you, so I grabbed a Coke and some cookies for breakfast and came right over. I didn’t really…
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Take Two
in JokesA little boy was watching a handyman at work on the upper story of a house. Suddenly the man drops a hammer, and comes down the ladder to retrieve it. The little boy calls out, “My daddy would have two hammers so he wouldn’t have to come the ladder when he dropped one.” The handyman…
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Redneck in France
in JokesA redneck is walking along the beach in France. There are many beautiful women lying in the sun, and he really wants to meet one. But try as he might, the women don’t seem to be at all interested. Finally, as a last resort, he walks up to a French guy lying on the beach…
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Lower and Slower
in JokesYou’ve probably heard: If at first you don’t succeed, lower your standards. New Version: If at first you get hit below the belt, lower your belt!
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Teacher and a Kid
in JokesWhen the whole class had left the little boy said, “Teacher, give me an A+ on my math test.” The teacher then says “No.” Then the boy said, “Give me an A, or I’ll tell my mom, who will tell my dad, who will tell the principal, and you will get fired. So the teacher…
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Game Warden
in JokesA farmer and his friend were leaning on a fence chatting. Suddenly, the local Game Warden showed up and insisted on checking the farmer’s property and, in particular, a certain field. The farmer refused to allow him access to the field but the Warden insisted he had the right, saying, “I’m the Game Warden and…
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Drunk Driving
in JokesThree blokes are driving around, drinking beers and having a laugh when the driver looks in the mirror and sees the flashing lights of a police car telling him to pull over. The other two are really worried. “What are we going to do with our beers? We’re in trouble!” “No,” the driver says, “it’s…
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As We Slide…
in JokesAs we slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way.