Sloth
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Occupation Punchlines
in JokesHere are some favorite sayings from people all over the world. Doctor: Oops. Secretary: I’m pregnant! Travel Agent: I know what you did last summer… Michael Jackson: I didn’t do it! Bill Clinton: I didn’t do it! Oh wait…Yes, I did. Computer Programmer: H0w d0 y0u w0rk th15 “Ch355” g4m3?? 1 N33D H3LP!!!111// Pilot: Are…
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Sex Life
in JokesOne day two old men, Bill and Ted, were sitting on a park bench discussing their sex life. Bill states, “At my age, me and the old lady have sex about once a year.” Ted replies, “Oh really! Me and the old lady have sex almost every day.” “No way!” says Bill. “You’re joking, right?”…
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Secret Tonic
in JokesA young doctor went to look at a practice that was up for sale in a very remote part of West Virginia. It looked perfect with a comfortable house, fully equipped lab, and lovely gardens. The old doctor even quoted a very affordable price. “This looks great,” said the young doctor. “I just can’t figure…
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An Hour Late
in JokesFor thirty years, Johnson had arrived at work at 9 a.m. on the dot; he had never missed a day and was never late. Consequently, when on one particular day 9 a.m. passed without Johnson’s arrival, it caused a sensation. All work ceased, and the boss himself, looking at his watch and muttering, came out…
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Watermelon Man
in JokesThere was a farmer who grew watermelons, and every week he would check on his crop, and would find that the local kids had got into his field and eaten as many watermelons as they could. This went on for some time, and eventually the man got fed up replacing the missing watermelons. After some…
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Shapin’ Up
in JokesAn old man in his eighties got up and was putting on his coat, when his wife said, “Where are you going?” The elderly man replied, “To the doctor’s.” Surprised, his wife asked “Why, are you sick?” “No,” he said, “I’m going to get me some of those new Viagra pills.” With that, his equally…
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What Should They Get
in JokesMrs. Applebee, the 6th grade teacher, posed the following problem to one of her classes: “A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars. One-fifth is to go to his wife, one-fifth is to go to his son, one-sixth to his butler, and the rest to charity. Now, what does each get?” After a very…
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WAY Too Much Crime.
in JokesAn American, a Russian, and an African were all up in a hot-air balloon together. After a few minutes, the Russian man put his hand down through the clouds. He said, “We’re right over my homeland.” “How can you tell?” asked the American. “I can feel the cold air,” he replied. A few hours later…
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The Doctors
in JokesTwo doctors opened an office in a small town. They put up a sign reading: “Dr Smith and Dr Jones, Psychiatry and Proctology.” The town council was not too happy with the sign, so the doctors changed it to: “Hysterias and Posteriors.” This was not acceptable either, so in an effort to satisfy the council,…
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A Man’s Best Friend
in JokesA man phoned up an exclusive escort agency and asked for a woman. “No problem,” said the receptionist. “There’s just one thing,” said the man,”she has to be 6′ 6″ tall and weigh 48lbs.” “Mmm,let me see –yes we can do that for you, but it will be expensive,” said the receptionist. “That’s o.k,” said…