Sloth

  • Trying to Fix a Clock

    Harvey’s grandfather clock suddenly stops working right one day, so he loads it into his van and takes it to a clock repair shop. In the shop is a little old man who insists he is Swiss, and has a heavy German accent. He asks Harvey, “Vat sims to be ze problem?” Harvey says, “I’m…

  • 60 Divided By 1/3rd

    What is 60 divided by 1/3rd? Read carefully. If you think it’s 180, then you’re wrong! The answer is 20. 3rd is 1/3. 1/3rd is 1/(1/3), and therefore 3. 60 divided by 3 is 20.

  • I Remember

    I remember when sex was safe and flying was dangerous.

  • Revenge

    Why is revenge sweet, but payback is a b*tch?

  • Scoring Golf?

    I play in the low 80’s. If it is hotter than that, I won’t play.

  • September 11

    The following is a list of the U.S. deaths in certain places. September 11: 2,752 War on Terror: 4,344 We beat ourselves.

  • Viva La Difference

    What’s the difference between a sock and a camera? One takes five toes and one takes photos.

  • Prudhomme’s Law

    Prudhomme’s Law of Window Washing It’s on the OTHER side.

  • I’ll Take the Dog Instead

    “Do you know that your dog bit my mother-in-law yesterday?” “Is that so? Well, I suppose you’ll sue me for damages?” “Not at all. What’ll you take for the dog?”

  • Think Tank

    Did you hear the one about the blond Think Tank? Once they got it got started, it drove through three houses and a convienence store before they figured out how to stop it.

  • To Be 6 Again

    A man asked his wife what she’d like for her 40th birthday. “I’d love to be six again,” she replied. On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early, and off they went to a local theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the…

  • Kidneys and Livers

    Two old men were arguing the merits of their doctors. The first one said, “I don’t trust your fancy doctor. He treated old Jake Waxman for a kidney ailment for nearly a year, and then Jake died of a liver ailment.” “So what makes you think your doctor is any better?” asked his friend. “Because…