5W1H boo!

Sloth

  • The Internet…

    in

    My kids love going to the Web, and they keep track of their passwords by writing them on Post-it notes. Their Disney password was “GoofyMickeyMinniePluto” and I asked why it was so long. “Because,” my son explained, “they said it had to have at least four characters.”

  • Putting One’s Foot In It!

    in

    A man limped into a hospital to have his foot X-rayed, and was asked to wait for the results. Some time later an orderly appeared and handed the man a large pill. Just then a mother with a small child in need of immediate attention entered. After the orderly disappeared with the new patient, the…

  • The Lord Giveth . . .

    in

    The old Lord of the Manor was finally on his death-bed, and had called his servants to his bed-side. To his butler, he said, “Jeeves, you have been with me now for nearly 40 years, and for your loyal service I shall leave you Ashley Hall, with its 74 rooms, and a 100% pension.” “Thank…

  • 111 Ways to Annoy People

    in

    Annoy People ——————————————————————————– 1. Pay tolls with $100 bills 2. Leave your supermarket cart on the street or in the middle of the parking lot 3. Eat produce at the market; don’t buy it 4. When giving directions, leave out a turn or two 5. Leave the outdoor Christmas decorations up until March or April…

  • Stop

    in

    A policeman was on duty when he got a complaint, so he went to go check it out. The complaint was that a sport car had not moved from a corner and was holding up traffic. When he got there, he went to the car and asked the blonde lady in it why she was…

  • Christmas Carol

    in

    Racing through the snow a onewarde southern sleigh, all the way we go bahing through the trees, the snow is turning red, I think i’m almost dead, all the children laugh and play around my stupid head!

  • What Children Say VI

    in

    CONFIDENTIAL OPINIONS ABOUT LOVE “I’m in favor of love as long as it doesn’t happen when ‘Dinosaurs’ is on television.” Jill, age 6. “Love is foolish…..but I might try it sometime.” Floyd, age 9. “Yesterday I kissed a girl in a private place…we were behind a tree.” Carey, age 7. THE PERSONAL QUALITIES YOU NEED…

  • Col. Murphy’s Law of Combat:

    in

    Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder!

  • One-legged Lady

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    What do you call a one-legged lady? Eileen!

  • Whats that smell?

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    Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? Johnny a three-year-old had a lot of problems with potty training and his mother was with him constantly. One day they stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying her…

  • TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS

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    Of course you know they have changed the look of twenty dollar bills recently. What happens to the old ones? Bill Gates gets them!

  • I Am Your FATHER!

    in

    Lady on telephone: “Hello sir, I want to meet & talk to you. You are the father of one of my kids.” Guy (stunned!): Are you Sandra? No. Jenny? No. Amy? No. Betty? No. Lady (in confusion): “No sir, I’m your son’s class teacher.”