5W1H boo!

Sloth

  • On the Golf Course

    in

    A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down…

  • Stand Under

    in

    Y’know – just when I think I’ve finally figured out women, I wake up!

  • WHO UNDERSTANDS MEN?

    in

    AT LAST SOMEONE SUMMED IT UP… The nice men are ugly. The handsome men are not nice. The handsome and nice men are gay. The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married. The men who are not so handsome but are nice men have no money. The men which are not so handsome but are…

  • Seriously

    in

    You know what would be odd? Some one with a deep, dark voice calls you and says, “I know what your phone number is…heh heh…”

  • The Hermaphrodite

    in

    One day, in a hospital, a doctor walked into a womans room, looking very serious. “There’s something wrong with your baby”, he said. the woman bolted upright. “Tell me! What’s wrong with my baby?” The doctor looked her straight in the eye and told her, “Your child is a hermaphrodite.” “A herma-whatta?” she asked. “The…

  • Hearing Problems

    in

    One evening, impressed by a meat entree his wife had prepared, the husband asked, “What did you marinate this in?” The wife dropped her fork and went into a long explanation about how much she loved him and how life wouldn’t be the same without him. She must have seen the confused look on her…

  • How To Drive Men Crazy!

    in

    1. Do not say what you mean. Ever. 2. Cry. Cry often. 3. Bring things up that were said, done, or thought years, months, or decades ago…or with other boyfriends. 4. Make them apologize for everything. 5. Get mad at them for everything. 6. Demand to be called or e-mailed. Often. Whine when they don’t…

  • A Few One-Liners

    in

    Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun. Lead me not into temptation…I can find the way myself. The mind is like a parachute; it works much better when it’s open. Jury: Twelve people who determine which client has the better attorney. Miracles are performed every day, the…

  • Lapping It Up!

    in

    In front of a delicatessen, an art connoisseur noticed a mangy little kitten lapping up milk from a saucer. The saucer, he realized with a start, was a rare and precious piece of pottery. He strolled into the store and offered two dollars for the cat. “It’s not for sale,” said the proprietor. “Look,” said…

  • Bad Cards to Give on Valentines Day

    in

    10. I admire your strength, I admire your spunk But the thing I like best, is getting you drunk. 9. Our love will never become cold and hollow Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow. 8. I bought this Valentine’s card at the store In hopes that, later, you’d be my whore. 7. This feels…

  • The Bishop And His Ass

    in

    A preacher wanted to raise money for his church and on being told that there was a fortune in horse racing, decided to purchase a horse and enter it in the races. However, at the local auction, the going price for horses was so high that he ended up buying a donkey instead. He figured…

  • User Errors

    in

    Attempting to enter a case-sensitive password with caps-lock on. Not checking to ensure that the computer is indeed plugged in. Clicking Yes on message boxes without reading them properly and deleting important files. Forgetting to plug an ethernet cable into their laptop’s network card when in the office. Allowing sessions to timeout when using a…