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Sloth

  • Kidneys and Livers

    in

    Two old men were arguing the merits of their doctors. The first one said, “I don’t trust your fancy doctor. He treated old Jake Waxman for a kidney ailment for nearly a year, and then Jake died of a liver ailment.” “So what makes you think your doctor is any better?” asked his friend. “Because…

  • There was a Young Farmer…

    in

    For those of you that remember the old Mitch Miller song “Sweet Violets” This is a crude take off on it… (p.s. – this is similar to Gizzers ‘Sweet Violets’ #604 but different, funnier and possibly cruder!) There was a young farmer who lived on a rock He liked to count sheep while he fingered…

  • AHeavy Tipper

    in

    A man rushed into a bar and ordered a double martini. The man downed it with one swallow, put a five dollar bill on the bar, and turned and rushed out of the bar. The bartender picked up the five dollar bill, and folded it carefully and tucked it in his vest pocket. Just at…

  • Unspoken Wife

    in

    Joe and Bill are out fishing and sipping beer while discussing football and NASCAR. All of a sudden Joe says, “I think I’m gonna divorce my wife. She hasn’t spoken to me in over 6 months.” Bill sips his beer and says, “You better think it over, women like that are hard to find.”

  • This is a Joke.

    in

    This is funny.

  • Ocean

    in

    yo mama’s so fat, she waz about 2 jump in the ocean, and the ocean jumped out and said u 1st.

  • Lightning

    in

    Q: Why do blondes smile when lightning strikes? A: They think they’re getting their photo taken.

  • The Cat Family

    in

    Teacher: Can you name four animals of the cat family? Mary:Mother cat,Father cat,and two kittens.

  • Another “You Know You’re a Pothead If…”

    in

    1) Your life’s ambition involved 2 things. “get high” and “earn just enough money to get high” 2) You’re nervous around the police even if you have nothing on you because “you just know they know,” -or- You WANT them to search you because you don’t have anything just so you can laugh at them.…

  • Be Quiet or Else

    in

    Six-year old Angie and her four-year old brother, Joel, were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough. “You’re not supposed to talk out loud in church.” “Why? Who’s going to stop me?” Joel asked. Angie pointed to the back of the church and said,…

  • Unbearable

    in

    At a posh Manhattan dinner party, a Latin American visitor was telling the guests about this home country and himself. As he concluded, he said, “And I have a charming and understanding wife but, alas, no children.” As his listeners appeared to be waiting for him to continue, he said, haltingly, “You see, my wife…

  • Read or Lose Your Account

    in

    Rate this joke 4 smiles and g I’ll give you $5 Stop here and rate now Read the rest after you vote You don’t need to read the comments now Vote Now NOW NOW!!!! NOWNOWNOWNOWNOWNOWNOWNOWNOWNOW DID YOU VOTE 4? PLEASE PZ puL eASE pull with ease Now vote Alright, you voted Good job Read on…