Sloth
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Defining the Americans
in Jokes. We yell for the Government to balance the budget, then take the last dime we have to make the down payment on a car. We whip the enemy in battle, then give them the shirt off our backs. We yell for speed laws that will stop fast driving, then won’t buy a car if…
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What Children Say IV
in JokesKid’s Instructions on Life… “Wear a hat when feeding seagulls.” – Rocky, age 9 “Sleep in your clothes so you’ll be dressed in the morning.” – Stephanie, age 8 “Don’t flush the john when your dad’s in the shower.” – Lamar, age 10 “Never ask for anything that costs more than $5 when your parents…
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Berlin Wall
in JokesHow can you use a banana as a compass? Place a banana on the Berlin Wall. East is where a bite has been taken out of it.
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Take A Look!
in JokesBack in the old Wild West, there were two blond cowpokes, Jeff and Dave. One day, the two were enjoying a strong sarsaparilla in the local saloon, when a man walked into the bar with an Indian’s head under his arm. The barman shakes his hand and says, “I hate Indians; last week they burnt…
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How Many Irishmen…
in JokesHow many Irishmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: 50… 1 to hold the lightbulb, and 49 to drink ’till the room spins!
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Spining Peas
in JokesWhat do you get when you see peas spinning in circles? World Peace (whirled peas)
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Stressed or Just Stupid?
in JokesThe pressure of a workday can bring out the weirdness in people. Possibilities for stupidity are endless. Here are some real conversations: Boss: “You make too many mistakes! You’re not very consistent.” Cube Dweller: “Well, you can’t be consistent all the time.” Cashier: “And what form of payment will you be using today?” Customer: “Money.”…
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Beer, Cheese and Sex
in JokesWhat Men Want More beer. More cheese. More sex. Vitamin fortified cigars. Public beer fountains. Kitty catapults. All day happy hour at a lesbian Hooters. Wet T-shirt Fridays. Replace NFL linebackers with genetically bred velociraptors. Rocket boots. Machine gun camp. NASA space shuttle races. Sledgehammer boxing. Girlfriend TiVO so you can pause, rewind, and delete…
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Deep Puddle
in JokesA man traveling down a country road was forced to stop before a giant puddle covering the entire road. Looking to the side of the road, the man noticed a farmer leaning on a fence. “Think it’s safe to cross?” the man asked. “I reckon so,” replied the farmer. The car was immediately swallowed by…