Sloth
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Little Kid Insults
in JokesOne day at Lee Elementary in the 1st grade hallway a little boy named Chris(kid #2 from my spoiled brat joke) and another child name sarah are walking down the hall way. (sarah and chris bump into each other) sarah:watch it doo doo head. chris:you watch it cootie pants. sarah:who are you calling cootie pants,freckle…
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Off to Bed With Ya
in JokesOne night Aggie says to George “Think I’ll go to bingo the night George… when I’m gone you make sure the youngsters get in and go to bed” Now George and Aggie had thirteen kids the last time they counted. So when Aggie went off to bingo, George went out and made the youngsters come…
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Counting Rabbits
in JokesOne day, during math class, the teacher asked Little Johnny, “If I give you two rabbits, two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many would you have?” “Seven,” replied Johnny. “No, Johnny. Listen carefully this time. If I give you two rabbits, two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many would you have?” asked the…
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Stella Awards
in JokesIt’s time once again to consider the candidates for the annual Stella Awards. The Stella’s are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonalds. That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United States. The following are this year’s candidates: 1. Kara Walton…
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Repeat
in JokesA woman wasn’t feeling well, so she asked a co-worker if she could recommend a doctor. “I know a very good doctor, but he is quite expensive. He charges $350 for the first visit, and $150 for each subsequent visit, but he really is quite good,” replied the co-worker. The woman went to the doctor’s…
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Redneck Threats
in JokesRedneck Threats: – I’ll slap you so hard, your clothes will be outtalk style. – This’ll jar your preserves. – Don’t you be making’ me open a can o’ whoop-ass on yaw!
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Parental Evolution II
in JokesMy wife and I are both the youngest child. Combine that with our own experience as parents and we often satirically talk about how things change as you have more children: The Trip to the Hospital First child: Every time we felt the slightest B & H contraction, we rushed to the hospital. I would…
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The True Meaning of Men’s Ads
in Jokes40-ish……………………………….52 and looking for 25-yr-old Athletic……………… ……………..Watches a lot of NASCAR Average looking………..Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, &back Educated…………………………Will patronize the shit out of you Free Spirit……….. ……………….Banging your sister Friendship first……………….As long as friendship involves nookie Fun……………………………Good with a remote and a six pack Good looking………………………Arrogant Very good looking………………..Dumb as a board Honest………………………………Pathological…
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Strawberry Issues
in JokesThere’s this guy he goes to see the doctor and says, “Doctor, Doctor, I have a terrible problem. I have a strawberry stuck up my bottom.” The doctor says, “It’s ok, I’ll give you some cream to put on it.”
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Three Ears
in JokesDid you know Davy Crockett had three ears? No, how was that? He had a right ear,a left ear,and a wild frontier.