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Sloth

  • New Friend

    in

    There are two men in a restroom, in stalls directly next to each other. Man #1 says “Hi there.” Man #2, trying not to be rude, says, “Um…Hi” After a short silence, Man #1 speaks again saying, “So, how are things?” Man #2 replies, “Good…. I guess.” Man #1 says, “Okay, honey, I have to…

  • Horror Movie

    in

    Have you seen the current remake of the movie “Cape Fear?” It’s about a deranged psychotic who is seeking revenge against a lawyer. The question is, while watching the movie, for whom do you root?

  • Golfing

    in

    Why does a man wear two pairs of pants when he goes golfing? He might get a hole in one!

  • Chuck Norris Facts: 28

    in

    There is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who has never met Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives. When Chuck Norris was born, he immediately had sex with the first nurse he saw. He was her first. She was his third. That afternoon.…

  • Chinese Baby

    in

    Mr. and Mrs. Wong are a married couple who live in China. After being married for three years, they decided to have a baby. They ended up having a baby girl with mental disabilities. They named her ‘Somting Wong’.

  • QUIET:

    in

    Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife during a recent lovemaking session, “How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?” She glanced at him casually and replied, “You’re never home!”

  • Why did she?

    in

    Why did the white girl go have sex with a Mexican? Because her teacher told her to do an ESE.

  • Lol

    in

    It’s pretty bad if you start typing “lol” as if it were a sentence (Lol.) Its worse if you start saying, “laugh out loud” in everday conversations. It’s absolutely horrible if you actually say, “l-o-l.”

  • Murder Case

    in

    A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer wants to ask her a few questions…. Officer: What’s 2+2? Blonde: Ummmmm… 4! Officer: What’s the square root of 100? Blonde: Ummmm… 10! Officer: Good! Now, who killed Abraham Lincoln? Blonde: Ummmm… I dunno. Officer: Well, you can go home and think…

  • National Anthem

    in

    What does a blond think the last 2 words of the national anthem are? Play ball!

  • Intersection

    in

    A police officer pulled over a vehicle that had just driven through an intersection without slowing for the traffic light, which flashes red continually. (It flashes amber for the cross direction.) The driver, blonde of course, explained, “But I didn’t go through on the RED, I went through on the BLACK!”

  • The Anniversary

    in

    A very old man and a woman are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. The man starts crying quietly. Touched by the mans sensitive side, she goes over to him, hugs him, and asks him whats the matter. The man says, “Remember when we were 15 and your daddy who was a sheriff caught us? And…