Sloth
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Medieval
in JokesA medieval astrologer prophesied to a king that his favorite mistress would soon die. Sure enough, the woman died a short time later. The king was outraged at the astrologer, certain that his prophecy had brought about the woman’s death. He summoned the astrologer and commanded him, “Tell me when you will die!” The astrologer…
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American, French and Chinese
in JokesAn American, a Frenchman and a Chinese went to try their echo; the American said, “Good morning,” and the echo came back, “Good morninginginging.” Then the Frenchman said, “Bon jour,” and the echo came back “Bon jourjourjour.” Then the Chinese said, “Chang chiong shang zhang hu,” and the echo came back, “Whatwhatwhatwhat?”
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Baked Beans
in JokesBaked Beans One of the matrons of the church was cooking a pot of her famous beans for the church potluck, and her son, Little Johnny, came running through the house, BB gun in one hand, and a handful of BBs in the other. He tripped and the BBs, naturally, went right into the pot…
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Bad And Worst News
in JokesA woman walks in to the hospital to visit her husband. She talks to the doctor, and the doctor says,”I have bad news, and worse news.” The woman starts to cry, asking for the bad news first. The doctor replies,”The bad news is that your husband only has 24 hours to live.” The woman starts…
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The Secret of a Long Marriage
in JokesAn elderly couple was sitting on their front porch one day when the husband said: “Whenever I get at mad at you, you never seem to get upset. How do you manage to control your temper?” “I just go and clean the toilet,” his wife replied. “How does that help?” asked her husband. “I use…
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A Tale of Two Popes
in JokesTwo young met while studying in seminary, Matthew Anderson and Anthony Sicola. They become great friends, but also become very competitive between each other. They both graduate #1 and #2 in their class, with Anthony being #1 and Matthew being #2. They then both go to their new parishes, which instantly become hugely popular. For…
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5 Jokes (10)
in Jokes1 What do you call five blondes at the bottom of the pool? Air bubbles! 2 What do you call 4 blondes lying on the ground? An air mattress. 3 What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home? She moved. 4 What are the worst six years…
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A Good Ol’ Fashioned A** Whoopin’
in JokesMe: “Sir, would you like to use any coupons today?” Customer: “Yes, I’ve been saving them. Here you go!” (He hands me a coupon that had expired five years previously.) Me: “Sir, your coupon is expired.” Customer: “WHAT?! What do you mean its expired? You f***ing b****, you’re just trying to steal my f***ing money!…
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A Very Special Cow
in JokesQ. Have you heard of the dyslexic cow who attained enlightenment? A. It kept on repeating OOOOMMM!
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Starship Captain
in JokesYour Starship Captain just might be a redneck if… your shuttlecraft has been up on blocks for over a month he paints flames and a NRA sticker on the warp nacelles you have a shuttle called “Billy Joe Bob” he refers to Klingons as “Critters” he refers to Photon Torpedoes as “Popguns” he has the…