5W1H boo!

Sloth

  • Easter

    in

    The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.

  • Genius

    in

    I have nothing to declare except my genius.

  • Diameter Maths

    in

    A boy was working on circumferences for homework when his mother came in and said, “Do you want some pie?” The boy replied, “Sure.” So the mother was saying “3.141592…” over and over and then said, “Want some ratio?”

  • THERE WAS A LITTLE GIRL…

    in

    THERE WAS A LITTLE GIRL, who had a little curl Right in the middle of her forehead… And when she was good, she was very very good, But when she was bad she got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo and a sport car.

  • Younger Sibling

    in

    For weeks a six-year old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house. One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child. The six-year old was obviously impressed, but made no comment. Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about…

  • Weird Facts IX

    in

    Mosquitoes have 47 teeth. An ant can lift 50 times its own weight. Holland is the only country with a national dog. The first penny had the motto “mind your own business. Before mercury, brandy was used to fill thermometers. Chinese is the most commonly spoken language in the world.

  • D, L, M, M, J, V, …

    in

    What letter comes next? D, L, M, M, J, V, … S. The letters are the first letters of Spanish days of the week, domingo, lunes, martes, miercoles, jueves, viernes, sabado.

  • The Tech Support Blues

    in

    Tech Support: “I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.” Customer: “OK.” Tech Support: “Did you get a pop-up menu?” Customer: “No.” Tech Support: “OK. Right-click again. So you see a pop-up menu?” Customer: “No.” Tech Support: “OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?” Customer: “Sure. You…

  • How to Talk Native Southern II

    in

    Far – What get the brandin arn hot. Furred – He got furred from his job. Flar – A rose is a purdy flar. Frash – Them aigs ain’t frash. Furiners – All non-‘bamans. Further – Hits ten miles further to town. Grain – She was grain with envy. Hail – Where bad folks go.…

  • Carrots

    in

    How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight? Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?

  • Those Wonderful Church Bulletins

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    Those Wonderful Church Bulletins. The Fasting and Prayer Conference includes meals. Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands. The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to a conflict. Please place your donation in the envelope…

  • What They Reeeaally Mean

    in

    When kids say: The party is supervised = It’s supervised by a grandparent who falls asleep most of the time. I’m doing well in school = Oh crap, I need help. It’s okay, I don’t need help = Get the heck away from me. When men say: Hi honey, how are you? = I’ve been…