5W1H boo!

Sloth

  • Graduated Cylinder

    in

    What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder? “You may have graduated, but I have several degrees.”

  • Mozart

    in

    Fill in the blanks such that the second blank is the reverse action of the first one: The famous musician Mozart ________ symphonies when he was alive and __________ after he died. Composed and decomposed.

  • M.U.N.S.A. Application Form

    in

    Have you an unusual Intelligence? Do you find you lose interest in supposedly “Interesting movies”? It could be that you’re one of the 5% of the population that has the mental capacity of a steaming turd! If so, you may want to join M.U.N.S.A. – Mentally Unemployed and Noticeably Stupid Association. Try the questionnaire below.…

  • bar at the Grand Canyon

    in

    A guy walks into a bar right at the top of the Grand Canyon. Another patron comes up to him and says “did you know the air currents in the canyon are so strong you can jump off and they pull you right back up?” “What?!” the man said “you must be drunk.” “No really,…

  • You Might be Drunk If…

    in

    1. You’ve named that purple elephant that follows you everywhere. 2. Vision Imparment goggles don’t change anything. 3. You earn $30 by counting your money again. 4. You use your beer belly as a coffee table. 5. You fly home every night. 6. Your wife keeps telling you not to light the house on fire…

  • Questions..

    in

    The following are questions the answers to I wish I knew: If one hermaphrodite dates another hermaphrodite, are they gay, straight or bisexual? Why does the cat always use the litter box right before I need to brush my teeth? Who is Murphy and what sad life did he lead to have that law named…

  • Most Important

    in

    At a wedding, the D.J. polled the guests to see who had been married the longest. The winners were then asked, “What advice do you have for the newlyweds?” The wife quickly responded, “The three most important words in a marriage are ‘You’re probably right’.” Everyone then looked at the husband. He said, “Yeah, she’s…

  • Generic Equivalent

    in

    In pharmacology, all drugs have generic names: Tylenol is acetaminophen, Advil is ibuprofen, & so on. The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra and announced today that they have settled on mycoxafailin. Also considered were mycoxafloppin, mydixadrupin and mydixarizin.

  • An Example of Human Stupidity

    in

    Everyjoke knows about the kangaroo, the tall marsupial that lives in Australia, but when settlers first went there, they were amazed and had never seen anything like them. They asked an aborigine what the animals were called. He replied, “Kangaroo,” so that is what the settlers called them. Little did they know, kangaroo is an…

  • So DUMB

    in

    Yo mama is so dumb each time she hears Obama’s name on tv she throws her hands in the air + ducks for cover Yelling OH BOMB A WHERE?!?!?!

  • Candy

    in

    Knock Knock! Who’s There? Candy. Candy who? Candy door even open?

  • New Military Weapon

    in

    3 men sell their bodies to science, for an exsperiment on a new military weapon to scare enemy soldiers by turning them into the enemies idea of the most scary, repulsive idea possible temporarily. The first man has his wife looking at him, drinks the chemical, and turns into a half-fish half-octopus with fur. The…