5W1H boo!

Sloth

  • Gambling

    in

    A man is playing poker, and sees a sign that says: If You Have A Gambling Problem call 1-800-GAMBLING. So the man calls the hotline and says, “The guy on my right has an ace and a two, I have a three and a jack, there is a four, a five, and a queen on…

  • Alphabet

    in

    One day, Mr. Dorren’s first grade class was learning the alphabet. One of his students came up to Mr. Dorren and asked to go to the bathroom. Mr. Dorren said, “First, recite the alphabet.” The student started, “A, B… … L, M, N, O, Q…” When he finished, Mr. Dorren asked, “Where’s the ‘P’?” “Running…

  • A Frenchman, a German and a Jew

    in

    A Frenchman, a German and a Jew walk into a bar. “I’m tired and thirsty,” says the Frenchman. “I must have wine.” “I’m tired and thirsty,” says the German. “I must have beer.” “I’m tired and thirsty,” says the Jew. “I must have diabetes.”

  • Accept

    in

    “If you do settle in the South and bear children, don’t think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we wouldn’t call ’em biscuits.”

  • Truths of Life

    in

    GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED: 1) No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptize cats. 2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don’t let her brush your hair. 3) If your sister hits you, don’t hit her back. They always catch the second person. 4) Never ask your 3-year old…

  • What America Makes

    in

    When all the national leaders met with Bush… Germans make your candy, said Germany’s leader, We abuse it, said Bush. Holland makes your remotes, said Holland’s leader We’d die without those, said Bush. Italy and Mexico bring in great food, said Mexico & Italy, We stuff ourselves with it, said Bush. Japan makes your video…

  • Dolphins

    in

    A genetic scientist managed to create dolphins that would live to 250 years of age – if they were fed seagulls. One day the scientist’s supply of gulls ran out, so he went out to trap some more. On the way back, he came upon two sleeping lions. Not wanting to wake the big cats,…

  • Lecher, Drunkard, Smoker and Devil

    in

    cat: Situation joke: A lecher, a drunkard and a smoker arrive at hell and the devil says to them: “Don’t worry, everything is happy here. To you, lecher, I am going to give you a full room of beautiful girls. To you, drunkard, I give you a thousand boxes of beer. And to you, smoker,…

  • Whodunit

    in

    A 90 year old man is having a checkup at his doctors office. The old man is chatty that day and starts to brag about his life. He boasts about his 20 year old wife who is having a baby because he got her knocked up. He claims it’s an amazing feat considering his old…

  • Horses at the Race

    in

    A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse’s trainer meets him before the race and says, “All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, ‘ALLLLEEE OOOP!’ really loudly in the horse’s ear. Providing you do…

  • Somewhere Over

    in

    If I travelled to the end of the rainbow, As Dame Fortune did intend, Murphy would be there to tell me, The pot’s at the other end.

  • Fangs

    in

    What is a vampire’s favorite holiday? Fangs-giving!