Sloth
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A really nasty divorce
in JokesA married couple is driving down the interstate doing 55 mph, with the husband behind the wheel. His wife looks over at him and says, “Honey, I know we’ve been married for 15 years, but I want a divorce.” The husband says nothing, but slowly increases speed to 60 mph. She then says, “I don’t…
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Could Do Better
in JokesTeacher – “Didn’t you promise to behave?” Johnny – “Yes, sir.” Teacher – “And didn’t I promise to punish you if you misbehaved?” Johnny – “Yes, sir, but since I broke my promise, you don’t have to keep yours.” Teacher – “How can one person make so many mistakes in one day?” Johnny – “I…
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Once There was a Mad Scientist…
in JokesOnce there was a mad scientist who worked by himself in his laboratory. He was so lonely that one day, he decided to clone himself. Everything worked perfectly, except that the clone had a very foul mouth. The scientist worked with the clone, but alas, he could not make the clone clean up his language.…
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Dingo Antics
in JokesA wealthy Australian man decided to go on a safari in Africa. He took his faithful pet Dingo along for company. One day, the Dingo starts chasing butterflies, and before long he discovers that he is lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of having lunch.…
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The King’s Prisoners
in JokesA king is sentencing his prisoners. The first person enters and says that he stole a horse. “Hang him,” the king yells. The second person comes in and says he stole old ladies’ purses. “You heartless fiend! Shoot him” the king growls. The third person comes in and says that he pirated software on the…
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Biting Bugs…
in JokesHygiene Teacher: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects? Jose: Don’t bite any.
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Parental FAQ
in JokesQ: Should I have a baby after 35? A: No, generally 35 children are enough. Q: I’m two months pregnant now. When will my baby move? A: With any luck, right after he finishes college. Q: How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu? A: If it’s the flu, you’ll…