Sloth
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Just Fission
in JokesOne day, a reporter for a suburban newspaper happened upon a construction site with a sign that ominously warned: “DANGER. RADIOACTIVE MATERIALS.” Driven by the prospect of a hard-hitting expose, he made a quick call to his editor, then returned to the scene to investigate. The construction supervisor looked unhappy to see him; “I’ll tell…
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Lawyers Robbed
in JokesA gang of robbers broke into a lawyer’s club by mistake. The old legal lions gave them a fight for their life and their money. The gang was very happy to escape. “It ain’t so bad,” one crook noted. “We got $50 between us.” The boss screamed: “I warned you to stay clear of lawyers….…
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Crazy Mixed-up Pup
in JokesPointer + Setter = Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas pet. Kerry Blue Terrier + Skye Terrier = Blue Skye, a dog for visionaries. Great Pyrenees + Dachshund = Pyradachs, a puzzling breed. Pekinese + Lhasa Apso = Peekasso, an abstract dog. Irish Water Spaniel + English Springer Spaniel = Irish Springer, a dog fresh and clean…
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Redneck Books
in Jokes“Rusty Bed Spings” by I.P Nitely “Fell off a Cliff” By Ilene Dover “Bounce of a Brick Wall” by Rick O’Shey “Mini Skirts” by Seymour Buttz “Race to the Outhouse” By Willie Makit” and last but not least “Guide to One Night Stands” by Juan Teboneya”
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Great Thinkers of Our Time
in JokesGreat Thinkers of Our Time? Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: “I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever.” — Miss…
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Funny Yo Momma Jokes!
in JokesYo Momma so heavy that she sank the Titanic. Yo Momma so stupid that she came up to George Bush and called him gay and Hitler #2. Yo Momma so old that she saw Abraham Lincoln die. Yo Momma so slow that she was mistaken for a rock. Yo Momma so stupid that she thinks…
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I Can’t Kvetch
in JokesA Jewish man in a hospital tells the doctor he wants to be transferred to a different hospital. The doctor says “What’s wrong? Is it the food?” “No, the food is fine. I can’t kvetch.” “Is it the room?” “No, the room is fine. I can’t kvetch.” “Is it the staff?” “No, everyone on the…
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Taste Test
in JokesA teacher was working with a group of children, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory perception. She brought in a variety of lifesavers and said, “Children, I would like you to close your eyes and taste these.” The kids easily identified the taste of cherries, lemons and mint, but when the teacher gave them…
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So Many Products
in JokesLong ago I gave my kid an iPod. Last year he talked me into buying him an iPhone. This year he said he needed an iPad. I asked what the i- means and he said that’s the way Apple name their products. Now he’s asking for an i7 laptop. My goodness, Apple have made so…
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Kind of Makes You Think 22
in JokesIf at first you don’t succeed, shouldn’t you try doing it like your wife/girlfriend told you to do it?