Sloth
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Tomato Family
in JokesThere were 3 tomatoes. A momma tomato, a papa tomato, and a baby tomato. The baby tomato started to fall behind and the papa tomato called over to him and said, “Ketchup!”
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A Minister Decided to Do…
in JokesA minister decided to do something a little different one Sunday morning. He said “Today, church members, I am going to say a single word and you are going to help me preach. Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn that comes to your mind.” The pastor shouted out, “Cross.”…
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Bill Clinton, Al Gore and Hillary
in JokesBill Clinton dies and goes to the pearly gates, where St.Peter asks him who he is and what he did. Bill replies, “I am Bill Clinton, and I was president of the United States!” St. Peter says, “Ok, I will take you to meet the Lord.” So they go to meet the Lord, who says…
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Masked Robber
in JokesA masked man all of a sudden gave a beggar 1 million dollars. Man: Why did you give me so much money? Masked Robber: I steal from the rich and give to the poor. Man: I’m rich! Masked Robber: Okay give me all your money.
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The Caterpillar’s Mother
in JokesMike, a 3-year-old, proudly walked into the kitchen of his house carrying a caterpillar. However, his mother was disgusted and wanted Mike to take it outside. “Mike, his mother is probably looking for him. Why don’t you take him outside?” said the mother. Three minutes later, Mike was back. “Look mommy!” he said, showing his…
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Enlargement
in JokesOnce there was a girl who wanted larger breasts, so one day she went to see her doctor, Dr. Smith. Dr. Smith told her to rub her breasts and repeat the following: “SCOOBIE,DOOBIE,LOOBIE, I WANT BIGGER BOOBIES”. One day she was running late, and decided to do her exercises on the bus when a guy…
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Two Businessmen & the New Store
in JokesTwo businessmen were taking a break while setting up their soon-to-open store’s shelving units. There they sat, in the middle of nothing but empty shelves. One said, “I bet any minute now some smart aleck will stick his head in the door and ask what we’re selling.” Within minutes, a man did just that, “Hey,…
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Lottery Winner
in JokesA man walked into a stockbroker’s office and said to the receptionist, “I just won the lottery, and I want to open an account with your %**!&%*! company.” Heads turned in shock at hearing the man’s language. “I’m sorry, but we don’t allow that kind of talk here,” the receptionist said. “You’ll have to leave.”…
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Do You Believe in Me?
in JokesWith so much turmoil in the world, God decided to pay a visit to earth to check things out. He strolled into a bar and approached the first man he saw. “If you believe in me enough to give me $50,” he said, “I will grant you eternal life.” “Sorry, I’m an atheist,” the fellow…
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Lawyer Joke
in JokesI’ve often started off with a lawyer joke, a complete caricature of a lawyer who’s been nasty, greedy and unethical. But I’ve stopped that practice. I gradually realised that the lawyers in the audience didn’t think the jokes were funny and the non-lawyers didn’t know they were jokes.