Sloth

  • Dalmatian Puppy

    Why can’t a dalmatian puppy hide from his mom? ‘Cause he’s already been spotted!

  • A Wise Man

    A wise man once said. I Don’t know ask A Girl! A wise man Once Said. Life sucks and then we die.

  • I like the way you Think

    Little Johnny’s school was having show and tell, so the teacher started a ‘Guess What’s Behind My Back’ game. She went to her desk and picked something up. “Okay class,” she said, “guess what’s behind my back. It’s red, round, and shiny.” “I know, teacher! It’s an apple!” shouted Little Johnny! The teacher replied, “No…

  • Blonde Golfers

    Two blondes were starting a round of golf together. On the first tee, the first blonde smacked a beautiful drive down the center of the fairway. With a smile, she picked up the tee and walked to the cart. The second blonde cranked another good drive down the center of the fairway. Pleased, she hopped…

  • Belly Buttons Explained

    Q: How do babies get their belly buttons? A: When God finishes making little babies, He lines them all up in a row, then he walks along in front of them. He pokes each one in the tummy with His finger and says, “You’re done, you’re done, you’re done, – – -“

  • Pat and Mick

    Pat and Mick landed themselves a job at a saw mill. Just before morning tea Pat yelled: “Mick! I lost my finger!” “Have you now?” says Mick. “And how did you do it?” “I just touched this big spinning thing here like this…Damn! There goes another one!”

  • What Grows on Trees?

    Money may not grow on trees, but it would seem as if morons like you certainly do.

  • Rodeo Star

    How does a rodeo star get around? With a cattle-act.

  • He V. She

    He v. She The family picture is on his desk – Ah, a solid, responsible family man. The family picture is on her desk – Um, her family will come before her career. His desk is cluttered – He’s obviously a hard worker and a busy man. Her desk is cluttered – She’s obviously a…

  • Drive Through

    The following sign was posted at a fast food restaurant owned by two blondes: “Parking for drive-through customers only!”

  • Things the Felines Have Taught Me

    1) The couch is not mine. 2) No matter how much larger the human is, the cat still deserves half of the bed. 3) Tell those you love how much you love them but only after they feed you. 4) Its okay to be a tad overweight as long as you are still able to…

  • Real Skywalker Scene

    (Setting: A furious lightsaber duel is underway. Darth Vader is backing Luke Skywalker towards the end of the gantry. A quick move by Vader chops off Luke’s hand. It goes spinning off into the ventilation shaft. Luke backs away. He looks around, but realizes there’s nowhere to go but straight down….) Darth Vader: Obi Wan…