Sloth
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Bathroom Uranal
in JokesThis above a uranal. What are you looking at? The real joke is in your hands!
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Very Foreign Expressions
in JokesWinners of a New York Magazine contest who were asked to take a well-known expression in a foreign language, change a single letter and provide a definition for the new expression RESPONDEZ S’IL VOUS PLAID: Honk if you’re Scottish HARLEZ-VOUS FRANCAIS?: Can you drive a French motorcycle? VENI, VIPI, VICI: I came, I’m a very…
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The 2005 10th Place Nobel Prize Winners
in JokesPHYSICS: John Moonstone and the late Thomas Parnell of the University of Ohio, for patiently conducting an experiment that began in the year 1925 — in which a glob of congealed black tar has been slowly, dripping through a funnel, at a rate of approximately one drop every nine years. LITERATURE: The Internet entrepreneurs of…
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Biblical Q & A
in JokesWho was the greatest financier in the Bible? Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible? Pharaoh’s daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible? Samson.…
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Quick Wit
in JokesWhile reading a newspaper, Morty came across an article about a beautiful actress marrying a football player who was not noted for his IQ. “I’ll never understand,” he said to his wife, “Why do the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives.” His wife replied, “Why, thank you, dear.”
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Definition of Diplomacy
in JokesDiplomacy: The ability to tell a person to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip.
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Peer Pressure?
in JokesReporters interviewing a 104 year-old woman: “And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?” the reporter asked. She simply replied, “No peer pressure.”
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The Perfect Mate
in JokesWe have found the perfect mate for all of you ladies out there. This mate… will always stop watching t.v. and cuddle with you without expecting something in return. Is always happy to hear about your day when you get home. Never complains about your cooking, or lack of. Never gets mad when you roll…
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Questionable Questions
in JokesWhy do they call it disposable douche? Is there a kind of douche you keep after using? Why do they call them “apartments” when they are all stuck together? Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM? Why do they report power outages on TV? Why do they sell a…