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Sloth

  • Lawyer Joke

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    I’ve often started off with a lawyer joke, a complete caricature of a lawyer who’s been nasty, greedy and unethical. But I’ve stopped that practice. I gradually realised that the lawyers in the audience didn’t think the jokes were funny and the non-lawyers didn’t know they were jokes.

  • Groups

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    Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursdays at 7:30 to 8:30, Please use the back door. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. Please use large double doors at the side entrance.

  • Can You Explain the Rating System?

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    G: Jokes rated G are acceptable for everyone. No bad language and no violence or sexual references are in these jokes. PG: These jokes are suitable for most children. Mild violence or language may appear in these jokes. PG13: These jokes may contain some bad language or violence. Some mild sexual content may also appear…

  • Thing’s you don’t want to hear during surgery

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    1. Better save that. We’ll need it for the autopsy. 2. “Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness.” 3. Bo! Bo! Come back with that. Bad dog! 4. Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what’s that? 5. Hand me that…uh…that uh…that thingy there. 6. Oh no! Where’s my Rolex? 7. Oops!…

  • Panda

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    A panda walks into a bar and eats lunch. When he is finished he shoots the waiter and leaves. The owner ran after the panda and asked him why he did such and thing. The panda replied, “Look up the word ‘panda’ in the dictionary.” The owner did so and it read, “Panadas are black…

  • Olympics

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    You might be a redneck if… You think mud rasslin’ should be an Olympic sport.

  • The Steamer Trunk

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    One day, a recently married man goes to the attic of his new home to put a few things in storage. While he is there, he notices a large steamer trunk sitting in the corner. When he tries to open it, he finds it is locked. Puzzled and curious, he calls his new bride up…

  • Ivanna

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    Knock knock who’s there? Ivanna Ivanna who? Ivanna come in, dammit!

  • University of Michigan

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    I was reading an article yesterday that was talking about the University of Michigan. They referred to it as MU. This got me to thinking…. What do they call the University of Florida?

  • Most Annoying Pet Peeves!!!

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    These are my pet peeves in no particular order. 1. People who insult my friends. You trash talk my friends you can’t hang around me it is that simple. 2. You are talking on a cell phone not a boombox, so pick a RING not a SONG! 3. Read my rant on Darkness. It’s on…

  • The Car Journey

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    Sharon and her friend Kitty, two little elderly ladies, are out for a drive in a large Mercedes with Kitty driving and Sharon in the front passenger seat. After a few minutes, they come to some traffic lights but although the lights are clearly at red, the car just continues across the intersection. Sharon says…

  • Audi

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    Bill and Tim are out one day test driving cars. They happen to pull up to the same stop light side by side. Bill yells out his window, “HEY TIM, Corvette?” Tim yells back “YUP THIS IS A CORVETTE” Tim yells again “HEY BILL, Audi?” Bill jumps out of his car pulls up his shirt,…