Sloth
-
Border Patrol
in JokesAn elderly woman lived on a small farm in Canada, just yards away from the North Dakota border. Their land had been the subject of a minor dispute between the United States and Canada for years. The widowed woman lived on the farm with her son and three grandchildren. One day, her son came into…
-
Aerobic Instructors
in JokesQ: How many aerobics instructors does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Five. Four to do it in perfect synchrony and one to stand there going “To the left, and to the left, and to the left, and to the left, and take it out, and put it down, and pick it up,…
-
101 Ways to Annoy People
in Jokes1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly. 2. In the memo field of all your checks, write “for sensual massage.” 3. Specify that your drive-through order is “to go.” 4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of “Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip…” 5. If you have a glass eye, tap…
-
Thinking Too Much…
in JokesKeep this in mind the next time you either hear or are about to repeat a rumor! In ancient Greece (469 – 399 BC), Socrates was well known for his wisdom. One day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance who said excitedly, “Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of our…
-
My Daughter
in JokesI have an 18-year-old; her name is Alexis. I chose that name because if I hadn’t had her, I’d be driving one.
-
Switzerland
in JokesA lawyer is talking to a *fellow* politician. ‘I’m going to Switzerland next month,’ said the honest politician. ‘Oh really?’ asked the lawyer. ‘Which bank?’
-
Poof
in JokesA married couple, both 60 years old, were celebrating their 35th anniversary. During their party, a fairy appeared to congratulate them and grant them each one wish. The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her wand and POOF–the wife had tickets in her hand for a world cruise. Next, the fairy…
-
How Many Acountants Do It…….
in JokesQ. How many acountants does it take to change a lightbulb? A. 1 at a fixed rate of 3.5% income return after purchase for every bulb replaced over a 6 year plan, with projected inflation expected to rise to over $1.25 per bulb in 2006.
-
Prepare To Meteor Maker!
in JokesAs a Delta Air Lines jet was flying over Arizona on a clear day, the copilot was providing his passengers with a running commentary about landmarks over the PA system. “Coming up on the right, you can see the Meteor Crater, which is a major tourist attraction in northern Arizona. It was formed when a…
-
Most Funny
in JokesWhat do you say to a blonde who looks stupid in her ear muffs? Anything you want! She cant hear you! P.S. no offence to blondes!