Sloth
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Church Vote
in JokesA quite sobered-up drunk is at Sunday mass listening to a long boring sermon. Feeling still hungover and tired, he finally nods out hoping no one will notice. The priest has been watching him all along and at the end of the sermon, decides to make an example out of him. “Who in this room…
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religious Truck Driver
in JokesSo I asked a religious truck driver what his CB handle is. His answer: “My handle’s ‘Messiah’.” (Get it? Sounds like “Handel’s Messiah.”)
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President’s Puzzle
in JokesDick Cheney walks into the Oval Office and sees The President whooping and hollering. “What’s the matter, Mr. President?” the Vice President inquired. “Nothing at all, boss. I just done finished a jigsaw puzzle in record time!” the President beamed. “How long did it take you?” “Well, the box said ‘3 to 5 Years’ but…
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Fit Into a Mini
in JokesQ: How many elephants will fit into a Mini? A: Four: Two in the front, two in the back.
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Six Retired Floridians…
in JokesSix retired Floridians were playing poker in the condo clubhouse when Meyerwitz loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five continue playing standing up. Finkelstein looks around and asks, “So, who’s gonna tell the wife?” They draw straws. Goldberg…
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Product Warnings
in JokesDumb and Funny Warning Labels On Products Liquid Plummer Warning: Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages. Windex Do not spray in eyes. Bowl Fresh Safe to use around pets and children, although, it is not recommended that either be permitted to drink from toilet. Toilet Plunger Caution: Do not use near power lines.…
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Last Words II
in JokesSomeone in Winslow, Maine didn’t like Mr. Wood: In Memory of Beza Wood Departed this life Nov. 2, 1837 Aged 45 yrs. Here lies one Wood Enclosed in wood One Wood Within another. The outer wood Is very good: We cannot praise The other. On a grave from the 1880’s in Nantucket, Massachusetts: Under the…
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World War 3
in JokesGeorge W. Bush and Colin Powell are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman, “Isn`t that Bush and Powell sitting over there?” The barman says, “Yep, that`s them.” So the guy walks over and says, “Wow, this is a real honor. What are you guys doing in here?” Bush says,…
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Women and A Tornado
in JokesHow are women and a tornado alike? They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave.