Sloth
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Car Dreams
in JokesA man went into his shrink’s office and says, “Doc, you have got to help me! Every night I keep dreaming that I’m a sport car. “The other night I dreamed I was a Ferrari. Another night I dreamed I was a BMW. Last night I dreamed I was a Porsche. What does this mean?”…
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The Dollar
in JokesQuestion: What is the best way to get rid of Irish people? Answer: Throw a dollar off of a bridge! Question: What is the best way to get rid of more Irish people? Answer: Say that no one found the dollar yet!
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Peace Like a River
in JokesOnce upon a time, there was a girl with a lisp. She couldn’t pronounce her c’s or s’s so she would just leave them out. One day she was going to the bathroom and started singing “I’ve Got Peace Like a River.”
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Chicken Vs. Possum
in JokesOne beautiful morning, a husband and wife decided to go for a drive in the country. Unfortunately, no matter which road they took, they kept seeing dead possums lying on the shoulder. After several miles of this, the husband turned to his wife and said, “Now I think I know the answer to the age-old…
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Pious V Impious
in JokesA very religious man lived right next door to an atheist. While the religious one prayed day in, day out, and was constantly on his knees in communion with his Lord, the atheist never even looked twice at a church. However, the atheist’s life was good, he had a well-paid job and a beautiful wife,…
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No-Parking Zone
in JokesA minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn’t find a space with a meter. So he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: “I have circled the block 10 times. If I don’t park here, I’ll miss my appointment. FORGIVE…
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Ye Know Ye’re a Pirate When
in Jokes…you prefer cheap rum instead of expensive wine. …you think that the proper way to greet kings at events is: “Arrh, ye peacock, give me yer money or I ll burn yer tent!” …you’re planning to purchase a large cannon with the explanation: “Who knows? Maybe some day we go to camping.” …you get thrown…
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This Will Warm Your Heart…
in JokesThis will warm your heart, just when you have lost faith in human kindness…. Dear Safety Harbor Middle School, God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent senior citizens luncheon. I am 84 years old and live at the Safety Harbor Assisted Home for the Aged. All of my family has…
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Stupid Dress
in JokesYo momma’s so stupid, when you asked her for an evening gown, she came back with a night dress!
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Flashlights
in JokesA blonde couple were going on a vacation to the countryside visiting their relatives. As they soon reach their relatives’ home and go in, a blackout started. On and on the couple tried to find a source of light. Finally one of the blonde asks, “Hey, Mary, can you find anything?” Mary replies, “Nope, all…