Sloth
-
sportmen Quotes IV
in Jokes1992. Pat Williams, Orlando Magic general manager, on his team’s 7-27 record: “We can’t win at home. We can’t win on the road. As general manager, I just can’t figure out where else to play.” 1996. Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the spartan training regimen of heavyweight Andrew Golota: “He’s a guy who gets…
-
Real Signs
in JokesNo Smoking Prohibited Slow Children Warning: corners of sign are sharp A Street Downtown 1 Quarter Mile No Parking 2am-5am (right underneath that sign) 2 Hour parking 9am-6pm (right underneath that sign) 15 minute parking 8am-5pm Caution- water on road during rain Airplane Crossing Bear Bottom Drive Emergency telephone 174 km ahead Road hump ahead…
-
New Sex Study
in JokesIt has been determined. The most used sexual position for married couples is a doggie position. The husband sits and begs. The wife rolls over and plays dead.
-
Ben-Gay – Preparation H
in JokesWhich comes first, Ben-Gay or Preparation H? Ben-Gay. After you have been gay, you’ll need the Preparation H.
-
PARTY!!
in JokesMy 4 year old brother just had a birthday. At his birthday party he invited all his friends and a clown for the entertainment. The clown didn’t have too many options for entertaining 4 year olds, so he figured a nice game of Simon Says would be fun. “Simon says, ‘Point to your nose.’” The…
-
Toaster Oven
in JokesOne of my daughter’s wedding presents was a toaster oven. Soon after the honeymoon, she and her husband tried it out. Almost immediately, smoke billowed out of the toaster. “Get the owner’s manual!” her husband shouted. “I can’t find it anywhere!” she cried, searching through the box. “Oops!” came a voice from the kitchen. “Well,…
-
New Order
in JokesA customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods totaling a great deal of money. The distributor noticed that the previous bill hadn’t been paid. The collections manager left a voice-mail for them saying, “We can’t ship your new order until you pay for the last one.” The next day…
-
Justin Boobie
in JokesJustin Beiber doesn’t need mic to sing , no one needs mic for lip-syncing . Q: Why did the Chicken cross the Road? A:To get away from Justin Bieber!!! JUSTIN: mom i think i finally hit puberty MOM: really? how do u know? JUSTIN: I’m bleeding from my vagina. Stop making fun of him. Every…
-
10 Signs to See If Your Kid is a Nerd.
in Jokes10. Likes people that oppress him: teachers, parents, principals, police, and authority figures. 9. Is overly enthusiastic about ‘Dungeons and Dragons’ and other role playing games. 8. Very familiar with megahertz, wears glasses and, can quote scripture. 7. Frequently speaks of martial arts, but still gets beaten up. 6. Says ‘Whom’ instead of ‘Who.’ 5.…
-
Cheating On Your Husband
in JokesA husband & wife are talking. Husband: “How many times have you cheated on me?” Wife: “Only twice.” Husband: “Tell me about them.” Wife: “Remember when you were very sick, and we didn’t have money to pay for the doctor? Well, I slept with him.” Husband: “That’s not so bad; and the other?” Wife: “Remember…
-
#11 Redneck
in JokesYou know you’re a redneck if you would rather your son have his own hunting show than become a doctor.