Jokes
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Gas Station-UFO
in JokesA flying saucer landed at a gas station on a lonely country road. The two space aliens inside seemed completely unconcerned about detection; in fact, the letters “UFO” were emblazoned in big, bold letters on one side of their shiny craft. As the station owner stood and gawked in silence, paralyzed with shock, his young,…
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10 Things You Should Never Say to a Woman in an Argument
in JokesDon’t you have some laundry to do or something? Oh, you are so cute when you get all pissed off. You’re just upset because your butt is beginning to spread. Wait a minute – I get it. What time of the month is it? Shouldn’t you consult the great Oprah on this one? Sorry. I…
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Who Put The Light Out?
in JokesOutside of a dog, a book is probably man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.
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Blown A Seal
in JokesA man was driving down an Alaskan road and his car broke down. He phoned the Alaskan Mobile Fixit Service and they arrived shortly after. He service man opened the bonnet and after a while the repair man said ” It looks like you’ve blown a seal “, the man replies “No, it’s just frost…
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Say What?
in JokesWinters are fierce in northern Scotland, so the owner of the estate felt he was doing a good deed when he bought a pair of earmuffs for his foreman. One cold, blustery day, he noticed that the foreman wasn’t wearing them. In fact, he couldn’t recall a time he’d ever seen the man wear the…
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Shark
in JokesA child was born one day with a condition that limited him to only being able to whisper – unable to speak loudly or normally. At about 30 years old he finally goes to the doctor wanting to treat it. “Can you treat this condition, doc?” he whispers very silently, barely heard. “Well, I can…
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Chuck Norris Facts: 26
in JokesChuck Norris’ sperm can be seen with the naked eye. Each one is the size of a quarter. After taking a steroids test doctors informed Chuck Norris that he had tested positive. He laughed upon receiving this information, and said, “Of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?” Chuck…
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Things You Don’t Want to Hear II
in JokesThings You Don’t Want to Hear When Regaining Consciousness “Let me ask your opinion, nurse…” “Has anyone ever seen one of THESE?” “What do you mean, “It’s upside down”?” “This is what happens when cousins marry.” “You think we can sew it back on?” “Is that SUPPOSED to be yellow?” “What does the AMA know;…
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Battle of the Sexes
in JokesNojoke will ever win the battle of the sexes. There’s too much fraternizing with the enemy.
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EARTHQUAKE!
in JokesYo momma’s so fat, when she goes to get the mail it measures on the Richter scale.