Jokes
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Entitled To One Phone Call
in JokesEntitled To One Phone Call Two teenagers were arrested for public lewdness and possession of marijuana when they were found naked, enjoying a joint on the edge of the fountain in the town square. The arresting officer, unable to reach their parents, gave them each one phone call. A half hour later, a man entered…
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Being Poor…er
in JokesYo mama so poor, she has to chase down the garbage truck with a shopping list!
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Strawberry Fertilizer
in JokesA farmer was driving along the road with a load of fertilizer. A little boy, playing in front of his house, saw him and called, “What’ve you got in your truck?” “Fertilizer,” the farmer replied. “What are you going to do with it?” asked the little boy. “Put it on strawberries,” answered the farmer. “You…
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Tired Out?
in JokesA teenage girl had just been given family-car privileges, when she returned home very late from a party. The next morning her father went out to the driveway to get the newspaper and came back into the house frowning. At 11:30am the girl sleepily walked into the kitchen, and her father asked her, “What time…
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T.V. Audience
in JokesAt the end of a T.V. show, why do they say “filmed in front of a live audience?” Well, it wouldn’t be a dead audience, would it?
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Time
in JokesA man is strolling past the mental hospital and suddenly remembers an important meeting. Unfortunately, his watch has stopped, and he cannot tell if he is late or not. Then, he notices a patient similarly strolling about within the hospital fence. Calling out to the patient, the man says, “Pardon me, sir, but do you…
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The Fit Club
in Jokes“You’re in incredible shape,” the doctor said. “How old are you again?” “I am 78,” said the man. “78!” remarked the doctor. “How do you stay so healthy? You look like a 60-year-old.” “Well, my wife and I made a pact when we got married that whenever she got mad she would go into the…