Jokes
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You Know You’re Living in 2004 When…
in Jokes1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave. 2. You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years. 3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3. 4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you. 5. Your reason for not staying in touch…
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Things You Learn From Video Games
in JokesThings You Learn from Video Games There is no problem that cannot be overcome by force. If it moves, DESTROY IT! Piloting any vehicle is simple and requires no training. One lone “good guy” can defeat an infinite number of “badguys.” Make sure you eat all food lying on the ground. You can break things…
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2 Things I Find Ironic in sport
in Jokes1. The Yankees General Manager’s name is Brian Cashman. 2. barry Bonds’ initals are BB, the abreviation for a walk is also BB.
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Stupidest One Liner- By Archangel, Gabriel
in JokesWhat you humans call ‘THE APOCALYPSE’, I used to call Sunday Dinner! – Archangel, Gabriel
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Bangety Bang Bang
in JokesSeems there was a young soldier, who, just before battle, told his sergeant that he didn’t have a rifle. “That’s no problem, son,” said the sergeant. “Here, take this broom. Just point it at the Germans, and go ‘Bangety Bang Bang’.” “But what about a bayonet, Sarge?” asked the young (and gullible) recruit. The sergeant…
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Still Yet Another Redneck Joke
in JokesIf you have more pets than relatives you just might be a redneck.
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Pilsbury Doughboy Obituary
in JokesVeteran Pillsbury spokesman Pop N. Fresh died yesterday of a severe yeast infection. He was 71. Known to friends as Brown-n-Serve, Fresh was an avid gardener and tennis player. Fresh was buried in one of the largest funeral ceremonies in recent years. Dozens of celebrities turned out including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack,…
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Bad News, Good News, Great News
in JokesThe day after losing his wife in a diving accident, a man answered his door to find two grim-faced Alaska State Troopers. “We’re sorry to call on you at this hour, Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your wife.” “Tell me! Did you find her?” the man cried. The troopers looked at each…
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Guilty
in JokesA red-faced judge convened court after a long lunch. The first case involved a man charged with drunk driving who claimed it simply wasn’t true. “I’m as sober as you are, your honor,” the man claimed. The judge replied, “Clerk, please enter a guilty plea. The defendant is sentenced to 30 days in jail.”
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Definitely
in JokesThe kindergarten teacher is trying to explain to her class the definition of the word “definitely” to them. To make sure the students have a good understanding of the word, she asks them to use it in a sentence. When called upon the first student says, “The sky is definitely blue.” The teacher said, “Well,…