Jokes

  • Jews in the Desert

    Why did the Jews walk around the desert for 40 years? They heard that someone dropped a quarter

  • Sweet Violets

    There once was a farmer who took a young miss Out back of the barn where he gave her a … Lecture on horses and cattle and eggs And told she had the most wonderful … Manners that suited a girl of her charms A girl that he wanted to take in his … Washing…

  • Kids Say the Darndest Things…

    Some grade school teachers must agree with that, because they keep journals of amusing things their students have written in papers. Here are a few examples: – The future of “I give” is “I take.” – The parts of speech are lungs and air. – The inhabitants of Moscow are called Mosquitoes. – A census…

  • Smart Blond?

    What do you call a smart blond? An Endangered species

  • Shower

    Yo momma so fat, when she takes a shower, her feet don’t get wet!

  • Dare

    D.A.R.E. sadly doesn’t stand for Drugs Are Really Excellent.

  • Wrong Meanings

    A boy asked his mother what the word “shit” meant. The mother didn’t know what to say, so she said it meant “food”. Then he asked what the word “nigger” meant. She still did not know what to say, so she said “priest”. The last word he asked about was “fuck”. She really did not…

  • Chuck Norris Facts: 36

    Chuck Norris eats eight meals a day. Seven are steak, and the last is the rest of the cow. Chuck Norris does know what Willis is talking about! Chuck Norris don’t open no can of whoopass. He makes his own. Chuck Norris could shoot someone and still have time to roundhouse kick him in the…

  • Leech

    Q:What is the difference between a leech and a lawyer? A:The leech stops sucking you dry after you’re dead.

  • Six years

    Q: What are the worst six years in a blonde’s life? A: Fourth grade.

  • Coolidge Effect

    U.S. President Calvin Coolidge and his wife allegedly visited a poultry farm. During the tour, Mrs. Coolidge inquired of the farmer how his farm managed to produce so many fertile eggs with such a small number of roosters. The farmer proudly explained that his roosters performed their duty dozens of times each day. “Perhaps you…

  • Knowledge Corrupts

    Premise I: Knowledge is power. Premise II: Power corrupts. Conclusion: Therefore, knowledge corrupts.