Jokes

  • Strange name for Cats

    One day there was a woman who lost her cat named “LOVE.” It was pretty dark outside and she lived in New York. So, thinking that he might be down the street, she put on her house-coat and went looking for him. When a police officer stopped to ask what she was doing, she said…

  • #3 Redneck

    You might be a redneck if you have orange road cones in your living room!

  • Another Crossword Puzzle

    Here is a fragment of a crossword puzzle. Note that this crossword puzzle contains abbreviations and acronyms. S O _ Clue: An insult related to a female animal. Answer: Sow.

  • Classified Ads in Newspapers:

    FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 COCKER SPANIEL – 1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR’S DOG 1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB — $850/offer 2 WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES: 1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, PAIR: $15 TICKLE ME ELMO, STILL IN BOX, COMES WITH ITS OWN 1993 MUSTANG, 5L, AUTO, EXCELLENT CONDITION $6800 COWS, NEVER BRED… ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE.…

  • Dog Rules

    Rules for the dog- _______________________ 1. The dog is not allowed in the house. 2. Ok, the dog is allowed in the house, but only in certain parts. 3. The dog is allowed in all rooms, but has to stay off the furniture. 4. The dog can get on the old furniture only. 5. Fine,…

  • The Runner

    Q:After a runner reached the end of a long, gruelling marathon, officials were amazed to see him continue to run. Why did he do this? A:The man was let out of prison for the day to enter the marathon. He kept on running to avoid prison.

  • Sleepy

    Yo momma is so fat, she fell over trying to rock herself to sleep and couldn’t get back up.

  • Bill Clinton, Al Gore, and George W. Bush…

    Bill Clinton, Al Gore, and George W. Bush were set to face a firing squad in a small Central American country. Bill Clinton was the first one placed against the wall and just before the order was given he yelled out, “Earthquake!” The firing squad fell into a panic and Bill jumped over the wall…

  • Useless Facts #5

    201. David Sarnoff received the Titanic’s distress signal and saved hundreds of passengers. He later became the head of the first radio network, the National Broadcasting Company (NBC). 202. On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year. 203. Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than every Nike factory worker…

  • I Tell You No Lie

    Bill and Sarah were Londoners and were blessed with seven healthy children. After many months of discussion, they finally decided to move to New York. It should have been a simple enough move, but when they arrived, they had great difficulty finding a suitable apartment to live in. Although many were big enough, the landlords…

  • Dog and Rose

    Q: What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose? A: A collie-flower!

  • IN the military

    A young , attractive woman thought she might have some fun with a stiff-looking military man at a cocktail party, so she walked over and asked him, “Major, when was the last time you had sex?” “1956,” was his reply. “No wonder you look so uptight!” she exclaimed. “Major, you need to get out more!”…