Jokes

  • Where There’s a Will, There’s a Way

    A wealthy man had a falling out with his two sons. It was serious enough that he decided to change his will. At his lawyer’s office, he threw his will on the table and said, “This needs an heircut.”

  • Yesterday, I Heard …

    Yesterday, I heard from a drug rep for Glaxo who told me that they are on the verge of launching a new herbal remedy that they think will take the market by storm. This drug sounds so promising that I want to suggest to my friends that they consider buying stock in the company. The…

  • Women With PMS

    Why does it take 3 women with PMS to change a lightbulb? BECAUSE IT JUST DOES, OK!!!!

  • @ Mad ADD Joke! 1

    1. Aquariums + Gratitude = FISH THANKS! 2. Orange Bear + A Ghost = WINNIE THE BOO! 3. Saint Nick + A Grizzly Bear = Santa Claws! 4. Skunk + Kangaroo = STINK-A-ROO!

  • Difference Between Penis and Bread

    Dad: Son what is the difference a penis and a loaf of bread? Son: I don’t know. Dad: Then remind me to never send you to the store for a loaf of bread.

  • Space

    Yo Momma is so fat, the only reason she wanted to go to space was to taste the Milky Way.

  • Electricity

    If it weren’t for electricity, we’d all be watching television by candlelight. – George Gobel

  • Improvements

    An engineer died and ended up in Hell. He was not pleased with the level of comfort in Hell, and began to redesign and build improvements. After a while, they had toilets that flush, air conditioning, and escalators. Everyone grew very fond of him. One day God called to Satan to mock him, “So, how’s…

  • You are a Redneck If… #16

    You are a redneck if: Your pet groundhog has ever bitten more than one of your thumbs off.

  • Doctors? Huh!

    If it is dry – moisten. If it is moist – dry. Congratulations, you are now a dermatologist. ==================================================== What’s the difference between a general practitioner and a specialist? One treats what you have, the other thinks you have what he treats.

  • Lesbian

    One lesbian said to the other, “I’ll just be Frank with you,” …and the other said, “Ok, you be Frank today and I’ll be Frank tommorrow.”

  • Exciting People

    How many exciting people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, because they are VERY excited, one of them cracks the lightbulb and another throws the screw at their neighbor’s house.