5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • Pigeon and Woodpecker

    in

    Did you hear about the scientist who crossed a carrier pigeon with a woodpecker? He got a bird that not only delivers messages to their destination but knocks on the door when it gets there.

  • Airplane on the Sabbath

    in

    Q: Is one permitted to ride in an airplane on the Sabbath? A: Yes, as long as your seat belt remains fastened. In this case, it is considered that you are not riding, you are wearing the plane.

  • Rejection Lines

    in

    10. I think of you as a brother. Translation: You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in ‘Deliverance.’ 9. There’s a slight difference in our ages. Translation: I don’t want to do my dad. 8. I’m not attracted to you in ‘that’ way. Translation: You are the ugliest dork I’ve ever laid eyes on.…

  • Rabinovich

    in

    Post-Soviet Russia. Rabinovich calls the Pamyat headquarters: “Is it true that we Jews sold out Mother Russia?” In return he hears an affirmation accompanied by antisemitic slurs. “Oh good. So where can I get my share?”

  • You Know You’re From Oklahoma

    in

    You know you’re from Oklahoma if: a tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look for a funnel. your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway. you ever had to switch from heat to A/C in the same day. you…

  • How Many Dominicans?

    in

    How many Dominicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. Dominican one to hold the bulb and Dominican two to turn Dominican one

  • First Condom

    in

    A young couple decide to have sex for the first time so they go to the store to buy condoms. They find a popular brand and bring it to the register. The price on the box is $1.00 but when the cashier totals up the price it comes to $1.07. The couple asks what the…

  • Dad, Can You…..

    in

    Little Johnny was doing his homework, and it was some sort of code where you had to fill in which letter is which, i.e. the letter a = 1, b = 2, d = 4, etc. He got to one that he didn’t know which number it was, and he decided to ask his father,…

  • Computer–Britney

    in

    My computer is like Britney Spears; cheap, white, and plastic.

  • Blonde Deflowering

    in

    What does a blonde say when she loses her virginity? “So are you guys all on the same team?”

  • GameCube

    in

    Yo momma is so dumb, she thought a GameCube was a Rubik’s puzzle.

  • Signs Your Cat May Be Trying To Kill You

    in

    Seems mighty chummy with the dog all of a sudden. He actually *does* have your tongue. You find a stash of “Feline of Fortune” magazines behind the couch. Cyanide pawprints all over the house. You wake up to find a bird’s head in your bed. As the wind blows over the grassy knoll in downtown…