Jokes
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I Tell You No Lie
in JokesBill and Sarah were Londoners and were blessed with seven healthy children. After many months of discussion, they finally decided to move to New York. It should have been a simple enough move, but when they arrived, they had great difficulty finding a suitable apartment to live in. Although many were big enough, the landlords…
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IN the military
in JokesA young , attractive woman thought she might have some fun with a stiff-looking military man at a cocktail party, so she walked over and asked him, “Major, when was the last time you had sex?” “1956,” was his reply. “No wonder you look so uptight!” she exclaimed. “Major, you need to get out more!”…
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Every Time
in JokesEvery time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom’s wise words: “Don’t pick that up, you don’t know where it’s been!”
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Grey poupon
in JokesA man drove up to a beautiful lady at a stop light. She was in a nice Porsche. He asks her, “Excuse me, miss, you have Grey Poupon?” “I sure hope not, I just got my car waxed; damn those birds.”
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A Man and His Love
in JokesA man and his love had a terrible spat: She scratched his face and he knocked her flat; She spat at him and he threw her around; She jumped from behind and he fell to the ground. How sad to see such trouble as that… Between a man and his household cat!
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1/3 Multiplied By 3
in JokesAn analyst, a pure mathematician, and a statistician apply for a job. The interviewer asks each of them the question “What is 1/3 multiplied by 3?” The analyst enters it into his calculator and replies that the answer is 0.9999999. The pure mathematician replies that the answer is obviously 1. Then, the statistician asks the…
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A Group of 3rd, 4th and 5th Graders…
in JokesA group of 3rd, 4th and 5th graders, accompanied by two female teachers, went on a field trip to the local racetrack to learn about thoroughbred horses and the supporting industry, but mostly to see the horses. When it was time to take the children to the bathroom it was decided that the girls would…
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Rules to Being a Guy
in JokesIn order to be a guy, a guy must follow the following rules at all times without question: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow partygoers. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella. It is ok for a man to cry…
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Don’t Buy A Labrador!
in JokesPaddy tells Mick he’s thinking of buying a Labrador dog. “Oh, I wouldn’t if I were you!”, says Mick. “Have you seen how many of their owners go blind?”