Jokes

  • Where’d It Go?

    In my college dorm we had one of those irritating type guys who was born with more money than most of us could ever dream of earning, and naturally we resented his Porsche, his boat, and the women who hung all over same. The guy went out of his way to remind us all about…

  • Teacher’s Question

    TEACHER : There is a frog, ship is sinking, potatoes cost $10/kg, then what is my age? STUDENT : 32 yrs! TEACHER : How do you know? STUDENT : Well, my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad.

  • I Need a Push!

    It’s 3 a.m. and a couple is sleeping, when suddenly someone knocks on its door. The husband wakes up and goes to see who is disturbing them in the middle of the night. He then sees a young man and when he asks him what he wants, he says furiously, “Please, it’s an emergency! I…

  • Stupid Robbers VI

    A Nevada fugitive wanted on fraud charges was arrested in Connecticut after he blew his cover by applying for a job… as a police officer. The Connecticut cops discovered the man’s fugitive status during a standard background check. He had passed both the written and agility tests before being found out. Police called the man…

  • An Important Phone Call

    The following event actually happened to a famous basketball coach. “When I first got a job as La Salle University’s basketball coach, the phone rang and my wife told me it was sport Illustrated. I cut myself shaving and fell down the steps in my rush to get the phone. When I got there, a…

  • Facebook

    I used facebook for a few days and got addicted to it. I’ve been studying since I was 6. Why the hell am I not addicted to it?

  • Muslim Air Mattress?

    Did you hear about the new muslim air mattress? It blows itself up.

  • Sick Bird

    Q: What is the definition of a sick bird? A: Illegal

  • 3 Men and their Daughters

    There was an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman, all talking about their teenage daughters. The Englishman said – “I walked into my daughter’s room and saw a razor on the floor. I didn’t know she was old enough to shave.” The Irishman said – “That’s nothing; I walked into my daughter’s room and saw…

  • Birds

    Two friends were out shooting birds. A bird flew from behind a tree and quick as a flash one man shot it. It uttered a squawk, folded its wings and fell to the ground. The other man turned to him and said: ” You didn’t need to shoot that bird. The fall would have killed…

  • The Hole

    A husband and wife were driving down a country lane on their way to visit some friends. They came to a muddy patch in the road and the car became bogged. After a few minutes of trying to get the car out by themselves, they saw a young farmer coming down the lane, driving some…

  • Nike’s

    Yo Momma’s so fat, when she put on a pair of Nike’s, it spelled out Nickelodeon!