Jokes

  • Are Dogs Welcome?

    Are Dogs Welcome? A man wrote a letter to a small hotel located in a Midwest town he planned to visit on his vacation. He wrote, “I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is very well behaved and well groomed. I would like to know if I would be permitted…

  • Protestants

    During the Irish Potato famine, a young Irish-Catholic woman was worried about the poverty of her family. She told her parents that she was going to America to seek her fortune. With many tears, they let her go. Years passed, and the woman returned home. She arrived in a private jet, dressed in a gorgeous…

  • Pillow Cases

    A stingy old lawyer who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness was determined to prove wrong the saying, “You can’t take it with you.” After much thought and consideration, the old ambulance-chaser finally figured out how to take at least some of his money with him when he died. He instructed his wife to…

  • Alphabet Tea

    If you invited all the alphabet to tea who would be late? The letters ‘UVWXYZ’ because they all come after ‘T’.

  • Before Hunting

    What does the lion say to his friends before they go out hunting for food? “Let us prey.”

  • Bad News

    Two mates calles mik and mak went to the Australia vs England game. It was mik`s birthday, and mik gave mak a ride and mak took mik`s birthday present with him.He went to get it while mik wached the 4th over. Mak said to mik i`ve got some bad news for you buddy. Your car…

  • Cat on the Roof

    A man left his cat with his brother while he went on vacation for a week. When he came back, he called his brother to see when he could pick the cat up. The brother hesitated, then said, “I’m so sorry, but while you were away, the cat died.” The man was very upset and…

  • Wire You Laughing?

    Any wire cut to length will be too short.

  • Entitled To One Phone Call

    Entitled To One Phone Call Two teenagers were arrested for public lewdness and possession of marijuana when they were found naked, enjoying a joint on the edge of the fountain in the town square. The arresting officer, unable to reach their parents, gave them each one phone call. A half hour later, a man entered…

  • Being Poor…er

    Yo mama so poor, she has to chase down the garbage truck with a shopping list!

  • Strawberry Fertilizer

    A farmer was driving along the road with a load of fertilizer. A little boy, playing in front of his house, saw him and called, “What’ve you got in your truck?” “Fertilizer,” the farmer replied. “What are you going to do with it?” asked the little boy. “Put it on strawberries,” answered the farmer. “You…

  • Bird Bird

    Q: What does a 1000 pound bird say?? A: SQUAWK!!!