Jokes

  • Mirror Mirror

    A woman went to shop for a mirror when she chanced upon an expensive one. When she asked why, the salesman told her it was magical, that if you recited a rhyme in front of it, your wishes would come true. The woman bought it and hung it on the door at home. Mirror Mirror…

  • I Am Not Involved

    A police man arrested a MBA marketing girl…. GIRL: I’M not involved in sex COP:Then what are you doing? GIRL: I am selling condoms and offering a free a trial

  • Play As it Lays

    Bill and Ralph, both of equal ability, decide to have a round together and “play it as it lays” on all shots. Both hit their tee shots on the par-5 first hole down the middle and about 260 yards. They drive up for the second shot, and Bill hits his shot down the middle for…

  • Reading the Bible

    “Why do you keep reading the Bible every day?” the teenage girl asked her grandfather. “Well, it’s a bit like cramming for your final exam,” said Granddad.

  • Meat

    How does the butcher introduce his wife Meat Patty

  • Actual Headlines (3)

    British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half New Vaccine May Contain Rabies Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing Air Head Fired Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board Hospitals are Sued…

  • Geico

    Yo momma’s like Geico: so easy a caveman could do it.

  • Weigh To Go

    A blonde, carrying a baby in her arms, enters a pharmacy and asks to use the infant scale to weigh the baby. The clerk explains that the infant scale is out for repair, but she could figure out the infant’s weight by weighing mother and baby together on the adult scale, then weighing the mother…

  • End to End

    If all those sweet young things were laid end to end – I wouldn’t be a bit surprised.

  • You Say Potato…

    A World War II pilot is reminiscing before school children about his days in the air force. “In 1942,” he says, “the situation was really tough. The Germans had a very strong air force. I remember,” he continues, “one day I was protecting our bombers and suddenly, out of the clouds, these fokkers appeared. At…

  • Home!

    Murphy said to his daughter, “I want you home by eleven o’clock.” She said, “But Father, I’m no longer a child!” He said, “I know, that’s why I want you home by eleven.”