5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • Weigh To Go

    in

    A blonde, carrying a baby in her arms, enters a pharmacy and asks to use the infant scale to weigh the baby. The clerk explains that the infant scale is out for repair, but she could figure out the infant’s weight by weighing mother and baby together on the adult scale, then weighing the mother…

  • End to End

    in

    If all those sweet young things were laid end to end – I wouldn’t be a bit surprised.

  • You Say Potato…

    in

    A World War II pilot is reminiscing before school children about his days in the air force. “In 1942,” he says, “the situation was really tough. The Germans had a very strong air force. I remember,” he continues, “one day I was protecting our bombers and suddenly, out of the clouds, these fokkers appeared. At…

  • Home!

    in

    Murphy said to his daughter, “I want you home by eleven o’clock.” She said, “But Father, I’m no longer a child!” He said, “I know, that’s why I want you home by eleven.”

  • Get It?

    in

    Liners

  • Killing a Bird

    in

    You’re so stupid, you tried to kill a bird by throwing it off a cliff.

  • How Can I Explain?

    in

    A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. “Tim, you be first” she said. “What does your mother do all day?” Tim stood up and proudly said, “She’s a doctor.” “That’s wonderful. How about you, Amie?” Amie shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, “My father is a…

  • The Osbournes

    in

    Former Vice President Dan Quayle says that if you take out the profanity, the TV show “The Osbounes” is about good family values. You take out the profanity, and “The Osbournes” is about 30 seconds long.

  • Sharks

    in

    3 sharks meet in the ocean. They talk about the people they recently have eaten. The first one says, “I swallowed the Ayatollah yesterday, but the guy had eaten so much garlic I still feel sick.” The second shark says, “That’s nothing pal! I swallowed Boris Yeltsin last week and the old guy had so…

  • Present For a Black Man

    in

    What did the little black boy get for his birthday? Your bike.

  • T.G.I.F

    in

    A Blonde is getting on an elevator and meets a gentleman on board. “T.G.I.F.” she says. “S.H.I.T” was his reply. Puzzled she replied “T.G.I.F” The gentleman was getting a little disturbed the the remark, so he says again. “S.H.I.T.”. The Blonde leans over and whispers “THANK GOD IT’S FRIDAY”. The gentleman responses with “SORRY, HONEY…

  • DMV

    in

    Did you hear about the director of the Department of Motor Vehicles who resigned on Tuesday? He tried to resign on Monday, but discovered he’d been standing in the wrong line.