5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • Have You Ever Asked Your Child a Question Too Many Times?

    in

    Remember this story when they start getting frustrated: My three year old son had a lot of problems with potty training; and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I…

  • Language barrier

    in

    A Chinese guy was trying to exchange yen for dollars and asked the teller, “Why it change, yestoday I get two hunat dollar fo yen – today Iget a Hunat eighty?” The teller says – “Fluctuations!” The Chinese guy says “Fluc you white guys too”

  • Succesfull Beggar

    in

    A college student walks down the road when he sees a beggar on the side of the street. College Student (C) : Hey mister! whatsup! Beggar (B) : Yea how you doin’… C: So, how long have you’ve been a beggar? B: It’s about eight years now kid.. C: WOW! Thats long time.. how much…

  • Oneliners

    in

    My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way. – Henny Youngman My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. – Rodney Dangerfield A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong. – Milton Berle I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. –…

  • Dizzy Definitions

    in

    Acquaintance: A person you know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. Bachelor: A guy who gets to keep all his take-home pay. Pedestrian: A father who has teenagers who can drive. Honesty: The fear of being caught. Zebra: A horse prisoner.

  • Broken Watch

    in

    CUSTOMER: “Look at that watch you sold me. It broke. You told me it would last a lifetime.” CLERK: “Yeah, well you looked pretty sick the day you bought it.”

  • And God Created A Sleeping Man

    in

    A couple went to church every week, but every week without fail the husband would fall asleep during the sermon. The wife, being embarrassed by her husband’s loud snoring, decided to bring a needle to the next service and poke him when he nodded off. The next week when they were in church, the husband,…

  • Oh Give Me a Break

    in

    Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message “He’s lying” was placed in the copier, and the police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn’t telling the truth. Believing the “lie detector” was…

  • Golf Pro

    in

    A husband and wife want to take golf lessons from a pro at a local country club. The man and woman meet the pro and head onto the driving range. The man goes up to hit first. He swings and hits the ball 100 yards. The golf pro says not bad. Golf pro: “Now hold…

  • Commander

    in

    CO-PILOT: Commander! We are being attacked! COMMANDER: Report your height and status! CO-PILLOT: I’m 5’11 and sittin’ in the cockpit.

  • Boats.

    in

    During late spring one year, a blonde was trying out her new boat. She was unable to have her boat perform, travel through water, or do any maneuvers whatsoever no matter how hard she tried. After trying for over three days to make it work properly, she decided to seek help. She putted the boat…

  • Midget Walks Into a bar

    in

    A midget walks into a bar and trips over some sh*t left on the floor. Luckily no one saw him, so to avoid embarrassment, he doesn’t make a fuss about it. So he goes to bar and orders a drink. A few minutes later a big fella comes to the bar and trips over the…