Jokes
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Canada vs USA
in JokesIn the USA they go ice skating. In Canada we go skating; we just assume it will be on ice!
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Rock/paper/scissors
in JokesI understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there’s no fucking way Paper can beat Rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why the hell can’t paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can’t paper do this to people? Why isn’t…
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A Wise Child
in JokesA little boy is leaving school at the end of the day. As he strolls along the sidewalk, a car pulls up to the curb, and a man winds down the window. “Hey, kid, I’ve got candy in my car. Hop in and I’ll give it to you.” “No. I’m not going to.” The boy…
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Bad Boyfriend
in JokesOne night a blond teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to meet her parents, and they were appalled by his appearance: leather jacket, motorcycle boots, tattoos and a pierced nose. Later, the parents pulled their daughter aside and confessed their concern. “Dear,” said the mother diplomatically, “he doesn’t seem very nice.” “Oh please, Mom,”…
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Notes to Self
in JokesBill Gates “Notes to self” * Next time my wife says to buy china, she means dishes. * When my son asks for a golf club for his birthday, he means a putter, not a golf course. * When my wife asks for diamonds, she wants ones that will fit on a necklace. * Don’t…
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5 Jokes (5)
in Jokes1 Why did the blonde cross the road? She was tied to the baby that was stapled to the chicken. 2 Why did the blonde take a right into the ditch? Her blinker was on 3 What is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde’s ear ? Data transfer. 4 What do you…
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Mince Pie
in JokesA man applied for a job as an industrial spy. Together with several other applicants, he was given a sealed envelope and told to take it to the fourth floor. As soon as the man was alone, he stepped into an empty hallway and opened the envelope. Inside, a message read: “You’re our kind of…