Jokes
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Flight 2341
in Jokes“Flight 2341, for noise abatement, turn right 45 degrees.” “But Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?” “Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?”
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The Chicken At The Movies
in JokesA man approached the window of a movie theater with a chicken on his shoulder and asked for two tickets. “Who’s the other ticket for?” the ticket girl asked. “For my pet chicken,” he said, pointing to the bird. “I’m sorry,” the girl tells him, “but we don’t allow animals in the theater.” The man…
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Amazing Facts 24
in JokesIN 24 HOURS AVERAGE HUMAN 1) HEART beats 103,689 times. 2) LUNGS respire 23,045 times. 3) BLOOD flows 1,680,000 miles. 4) NAILS grow 0.00007 inches. 5) HAIR grows 0.01715 inches. 6) Take 2.9 pounds WATER (including all liquids.) 7) Take of 3.25 pounds FOOD. 8) Breathes 438 cubic feet AIR. 9) Lose 85.60 joke TEMPERATURE.…
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Pretentions – Or, Do Not Assume!
in JokesIt was a stifling hot day and a man fainted in the middle of a busy intersection. Traffic quickly piled up in all directions, and a woman rushed to help him. When she knelt down to loosen his collar, a man emerged from the crowd, pushed her aside, and said, “It’s all right honey, I’ve…
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25 Things to Do When in a Long Bus Ride
in Jokes1. Eat nothing but gas-inducing foods the entire trip, not hesitating to ‘share the wealth’ with everyone on board. Recommended foods are chilli, burritos, McDonalds, any eggs, Kentuky Fried Chicken (stay near the toilet if you want the KFC). 2. Repeat #1, only engage in a ‘cuppy war’ with the bus driver. (For those that…
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HUMPTY DUMPTY…
in JokesHUMPTY DUMPTY sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall All the king’s horses and all the king’s men Had scrambled eggs for breakfast again.
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Life Before Computers
in JokesAn application was for employment A program was a TV show A cursor used profanity And a keyboard was on a piano! Memory was something that you lost with age And a CD was a bank account And if you had a corrupted disk It would hurt when you found out! Compress was what you…
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Escalators
in JokesWhenever I have to go up in a building, I choose the elevator over the escalator because one time i was on an escalator and I tripped… So i was falling for an hour and a half.
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Tsunami Mommy
in JokesYo Momma’s so fat, when she jumps in the ocean, people head for higher ground.
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The NEW Star Trek Meets M$ Episode
in JokesStar Trek… The Lost Episode ——————————————————— Recent reports of a lost episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation have finally been confirmed. And now, for your reading pleasure, we are proud to present the entire transcript. Enjoy! ——————————————————— The crew of the U.S.S. Enterprise have encountered the Borg. Picard: “Mr. LaForge, have you had any…
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Unpushed Door
in JokesWhat door cannot be pushed, even by 10 people simultaneously? The door that says: PULL