Jokes

  • Some Exam Answers

    Some oxygen molecules help fires burn while others help make water, so sometimes it’s brother against brother. In looking at a drop of water under a microscope, we find there are twice as many H’s as O’s. Clouds are high-flying fogs. Clouds just keep circling the earth around and around. And around. There is not…

  • Constitution

    Why did our founding fathers expressed equality, but the constitution says people born in other countries can’t be president?

  • Did You See That?

    Two guys are out hunting deer. The first guy says, “Did you see that?” “No,” the second guy says. “Well, a bald eagle just flew overhead,” the first guy says. “Oh,” says the second guy. A couple of minutes later, the first guy says, “Did you see that?” “See what?” the second guy asks. “Are…

  • Log Files

    We use IP addresses and browser type to analyze trends and administer the site. We do not do reverse DNS lookups, so IP addresses are not linked to personally identifiable information.

  • Most Progressive Country

    Is it true that the Soviet Union is the most progressive country in the world? Of course! The life was already better yesterday than it’s going to be tomorrow!

  • Socialist Economy

    The principle of socialist economy of the period of transition to communism: the authorities pretend they are paying wages, workers pretend they are working. Alternately, “So long as the bosses pretend to pay us, we will pretend to work.” This joke persisted essentially unchanged through the 1980s.

  • Ole Died

    Ole died. So Lena went to the local paper to put a notice in the obituaries. The gentleman at the counter, after offering his condolences, asked Lena what she would like to say about Ole. Lena replied, “You just put ‘Ole died.’ ” The gentleman, somewhat perplexed, said, “That’s it? Just ‘Ole died?’ Surely, there…

  • Don’t Fall Asleep at the Beach

    One day, early in the morning, a naked man was lying on a beach reading the newspaper. He saw a little girl skipping towards him. Quickly he covered himself with the newspaper just as the little girl spotted him. She comes by him and says,”Good morning, What’s under the newspaper?” The man replied,”A birdie!” The…

  • Did you see…..?

    A teacher was teaching a class about the big bang theory. She asked Billy to go outside and observe his surroundings. She then asked… “Billy did you see the sky?” “Yes”, said Billy. “Did you see the sun?” “Yes”, said the boy. “Did you see God?” “No”, said the boy. The Teacher said, “So God…

  • Mine, All Mine!

    Pat and Mick decide to apply for jobs at a mine that had opened nearby. After sitting in the waiting room for a while, Pat gets called in for his interview. The boss asks Pat if he had worked underground mines before, and Pat replies, “Yes, of course I have.” The boss asks him how…

  • Ethnic Humor in oneliners

    What do you get when you cross a Mexican and an octopus? I don’t know, but it sure can pick tomatoes! What’s black, has white eyes and knocks on glass? A black in a microwave. Why don’t blacks like blow jobs? They don’t like any job. What do you call two Vietnamese in a TransAm?…

  • Not Good Vibrations

    According to “The Australian,” an airliner recently encountered severe vibration in flight. The captain decided to make an emergency landing, and switched on the seat belt sign. The vibration stopped immediately. A passenger emerged from a lavatory and explained that he had been jogging in place inside.