Jokes
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I’m gonna kill that doctor.
in JokesThis middle-aged guy wakes up one morning and notices that his eyes are bulging and his ears are protruding. He becomes very concerned, so he goes to his doctor and asks him what is wrong with him. The doctor told him that he has a rare disease that will require him to take this medication…
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The Tao of Homer
in JokesFeeling lost and adrift? Gain inner peace by learning the way of the Homer Simpson… Here are some Homeric jewels to live by: “The answers to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of the bottle. They’re on TV. “What’s the point of going out? We’re just going to end up back here anyway.” “Trying is…
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Colorado River
in JokesA British girl recently moved to the United States and their home was near the Colorado River in Texas. The English teacher asked the kids to write about their home and neighborhood. The British girl wrote “My home is near the Colourado River.” as part of her work.
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Dear Santa,
in JokesMolly wrote a letter to Santa Claus one day. Dear Santa, Please give me a Workout barbie and a new milkman because he is sleeping with Mommy. Love, Molly
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Driver
in JokesOn a golf tour in Ireland , Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside. The pump attendant, obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him in a typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is. “Top of the mornin’ to yer, sir” says…
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Bats in the Belfry
in JokesThree ministers were talking about their common problem with bats in the belfry of the church. The first minister said, “I shot at them with a shotgun, but it only spoiled the woodwork.” The second said, “I tried a more humane approach, netting them and releasing them 100 Km away. But they beat me back…
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How to Describe Number$$$
in JokesAn recent Italian immigrant to New York wanted a job, but the foreman won’t hire him until he passes a little math test. “Here’s your first question,” the foreman said. “Without using numbers, represent the number 9.” “Without numbers?” the Italian says, “Dat is easy.” And he proceeds to draw three trees. “What’s this?” the…
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Marriage Counseling
in Jokes“Judi, did you ever try marriage counseling?” Monika asked. “No,” Judi snarled. “That stupid dickhead, shit-for-brains, moronic ex-husband of mind would have just told the counselor I was ‘insensitive.’”