5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • Nasty Stuff

    in

    During an hour’s swimming at a municipal pool you will ingest 1/12 liter of urine. In an average day your hands will have come into indirect contact with 15 penises (touching door handles, etc.) Remote controls in hotels are the worst! (Always carry your Lysol spray!) An average person’s yearly fast food intake will contain…

  • Make a Sentence

    in

    Children were called upon in a classroom to make sentences with words chosen by the teacher. The teacher smiled when Jack raised his hand to participate. She gave him the words ‘defeat’, ‘deduct’, ‘defence’ and ‘detail’. Jack stood seriously for a while with all eyes focused on him awaiting his reply. “Defeat of Deduct went…

  • Diaoyu Islands

    in

    Why did the Japanese steal the Diaoyu Islands? Because they don’t have enough room for their funny farms!

  • New York bar

    in

    Frank was getting ready to go on a trip to New York for the first time, and was talking to his friend Bill. Bill: “While you are in New York, there is a bar that you have to go to. When you walk through the front door, you are handed a free drink. Then you…

  • Service?

    in

    At one time in my life, I thought I had a handle on the meaning of the word “service”. The act of doing things for other people. Then I heard the terms: Internal Revenue Service, Postal Service, Civil Service, Telephone Service, Service Stations, Customer Service, City/County Public Service. And I became confused about the word…

  • Amazing Facts 28

    in

    # 1 In February 1878, the first telephone book was published in New Haven, Connecticut. The book was one page long and had fifty names in it. # 2 For more than 3,000 years, Carpenter ants have been used to close wounds in India, Asia and South America. # 3 In 2001, the five most…

  • doctor’s visit

    in

    “Doctor, I’d like you to evaluate my 13 year-old son.” “OK: He’s most likely suffering from a transient psychosis with an intermittent rage disorder, punctuated by episodic radical mood swings, but his prognosis is good for full recovery.” “How can you say all that without even meeting him?” “I thought you said he’s 13?”

  • My Smartphone

    in

    I think my smartphone is broken. I keep pressing the Home button, but I’m still working.

  • New University Promos

    in

    BROWN: Hey kids! Is half of your head shaved? Do you have a nose ring? Are you terribly progressive and do you have a lot of empathy? Are you sick and tired of silly things like grades and majors? COME TO BROWN! COLUMBIA: Hey kids! Do you like Harlem? Do you like commuters? Are you…

  • Worst Joke Ever 🙁

    in

    This is the worst joke ever. Give it no smiley face.

  • Trip to Hawaii

    in

    “My husband won a trip for two to Hawaii,” a woman complained to her marriage counsellor. “He went twice!”

  • Fritzchen III

    in

    The teacher asks: “Fritzchen, what is the difference between capitalism and socialism?” Fritz replies: “Capitalism is the exploitation of man by man. Under socialism, it is the other way around.”