Jokes
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Socialist Economy
in JokesThe principle of socialist economy of the period of transition to communism: the authorities pretend they are paying wages, workers pretend they are working. Alternately, “So long as the bosses pretend to pay us, we will pretend to work.” This joke persisted essentially unchanged through the 1980s.
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Ole Died
in JokesOle died. So Lena went to the local paper to put a notice in the obituaries. The gentleman at the counter, after offering his condolences, asked Lena what she would like to say about Ole. Lena replied, “You just put ‘Ole died.’ ” The gentleman, somewhat perplexed, said, “That’s it? Just ‘Ole died?’ Surely, there…
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Don’t Fall Asleep at the Beach
in JokesOne day, early in the morning, a naked man was lying on a beach reading the newspaper. He saw a little girl skipping towards him. Quickly he covered himself with the newspaper just as the little girl spotted him. She comes by him and says,”Good morning, What’s under the newspaper?” The man replied,”A birdie!” The…
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Did you see…..?
in JokesA teacher was teaching a class about the big bang theory. She asked Billy to go outside and observe his surroundings. She then asked… “Billy did you see the sky?” “Yes”, said Billy. “Did you see the sun?” “Yes”, said the boy. “Did you see God?” “No”, said the boy. The Teacher said, “So God…
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Mine, All Mine!
in JokesPat and Mick decide to apply for jobs at a mine that had opened nearby. After sitting in the waiting room for a while, Pat gets called in for his interview. The boss asks Pat if he had worked underground mines before, and Pat replies, “Yes, of course I have.” The boss asks him how…
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Ethnic Humor in oneliners
in JokesWhat do you get when you cross a Mexican and an octopus? I don’t know, but it sure can pick tomatoes! What’s black, has white eyes and knocks on glass? A black in a microwave. Why don’t blacks like blow jobs? They don’t like any job. What do you call two Vietnamese in a TransAm?…
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Not Good Vibrations
in JokesAccording to “The Australian,” an airliner recently encountered severe vibration in flight. The captain decided to make an emergency landing, and switched on the seat belt sign. The vibration stopped immediately. A passenger emerged from a lavatory and explained that he had been jogging in place inside.
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The Book Has the Answer
in JokesA man has been in business for many, many years and the business is going down the drain. He doesn’t know what to do and is seriously contemplating suicide. He goes to the rabbi to seek his advice. He tells the rabbi about all of his problems in the business and asks the rabbi what…
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How Does Sherlock Sneeze?
in JokesBrad: Chad, how does Sherlock Holmes sneeze? Chad: A clue ! A clue!
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My Mexican Guy
in JokesWhat do you say to Mexican with a high salary? Can I have ketchup on those fries?
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Two More Words
in JokesA New York man was forced to take a day off from work to appear for a minor traffic summons. He grew increasingly restless as he waited hour after endless hour for his case to be heard. When his name was called late in the afternoon, he stood before the judge, only to hear that…