Jokes

  • Paki Joke (no Offense to Pakies)

    A Pakistani guy named Abdul was ringing in flour at his grocery store, and the bag broke, covering him with flour. Abdul rushes home to take a shower. He enters his house and his wife says to him, “Abdul, you’re white, what happened to you?” Abdul says “I was ringing in flour, the bag broke,…

  • Fooled you

    What’s another name for a push-up bra? False advertisement

  • Good Business Man

    I went to a money-making seminar. This man had so much bling he sparkled. I could tell he knew how to make money. He was telling the story of how he worked his way up the corporate ladder from a lowly mail boy, to cubicle, to corner office, to the president of his own very…

  • Shoplifter

    A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from an exclusive jewelry store. “Listen,” said the shoplifter, “I know you don’t want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy the watch, and we forget about this?” The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook looked at the…

  • Short Jokes 3

    51. Q: What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side? A: An interpreter. 52. Q: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes? A: A mental block. 53. Q: How do you change a blonde’s mind? A1: Blow in her ear. A2: Buy her another beer. 54. Q: What do…

  • Football Pep Rally For the Deaf

    One day at a school for the deaf (hearing impaired), they decide to have one of the students lead a pep rally for the football team. Here’s how it went. Rally leader: What are we gonna do? Ralliers: Defeat them! RL: I can’t hear you! R: Defeat them! RL: I can’t hear you! R: Defeat…

  • Gas Company

    Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood. They parked their truck at the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end. At the last house, a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the two men as they…

  • 1980 Olympics

    At the 1980 Olympics, Brezhnev begins his speech. “O!” – applause. “O!” – more applause. “O!” – yet more applause. “O!” – an ovation. “O!!!” – the whole audience stands up and applauds. An aide comes running to the podium and whispers, “Leonid Ilyich, that’s the Olympic rings, you don’t need to read it!”

  • Ouch, My Head!

    Jack told me you told him that I told you that he was ugly, and I told you not to tell him I told you that! It’s his fault! I told him not to tell you I told him what you told me! Well, don’t let it happen again–and don’t tell him I told you…

  • Look Out For Cops

    A blonde and a brunette are out driving, and the brunette tells the blonde to look out for cops – especially cops with their lights on. After they’ve been driving for a while, the brunette asks the blonde if she’s seen any cops. “Yes,” says the blonde. “Are their lights on?” The blonde has to…

  • Snowmen vs Snowwomen

    Q: What’s the difference between Snowmen and Snowwomen? A: Snowballs

  • Functions

    The word ‘function’ should never function as a verb.