Jokes

  • Teacher and a Kid

    When the whole class had left the little boy said, “Teacher, give me an A+ on my math test.” The teacher then says “No.” Then the boy said, “Give me an A, or I’ll tell my mom, who will tell my dad, who will tell the principal, and you will get fired. So the teacher…

  • Game Warden

    A farmer and his friend were leaning on a fence chatting. Suddenly, the local Game Warden showed up and insisted on checking the farmer’s property and, in particular, a certain field. The farmer refused to allow him access to the field but the Warden insisted he had the right, saying, “I’m the Game Warden and…

  • Drunk Driving

    Three blokes are driving around, drinking beers and having a laugh when the driver looks in the mirror and sees the flashing lights of a police car telling him to pull over. The other two are really worried. “What are we going to do with our beers? We’re in trouble!” “No,” the driver says, “it’s…

  • As We Slide…

    As we slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way.

  • Will you remarry if I die?

    WIFE: “What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?” HUSBAND: “Definitely not!” WIFE: “Why not – don’t you like being married?” HUSBAND: “Of course I do.” WIFE: “Then why wouldn’t you remarry?” HUSBAND: “Okay, I’d get married again.” WIFE: “You would? (with a hurtful look on her face).” HUSBAND: (makes audible…

  • Male Married Factory Employees Only

    In a small town in the US, there is a rather sizeable factory that hires only married men. Concerned about this, a local woman called on the manager and asked him, “Why is it you limit your employees to married men? Is it because you think us women are week, dumb, cantankerous…or what?” “Not at…

  • Peek-A-Boo

    The female skier Picabo Street (pronounced Peek-A-Boo)… The famous Olympic skier Picabo Street is not just an athlete, she is a nurse. She currently works at the Intensive Care Unit of a large metropolitan hospital. She is not permitted to answer the telephone, however, as it caused simply too much confusion when she would answer…

  • BRRRR….

    Why did the computer get sick? He left his windows open

  • Bowling Teams

    Two bowling teams, one of all blondes and one of all brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend bowling tournament in Atlantic City. The brunette team rides in the bottom of the bus; the blonde team rides on the top level.. The brunette team down below is whooping it up having a great time,…

  • Sky News

    CLASSIC QUOTE: A quote from Sky News “Umm Qasr is a city similar to Southampton,” UK defence minister Geoff Hoon said in the Commons yesterday. “He’s either never been to Southampton, or he’s never been to Umm Qasr,” says a British squaddie patrolling Umm Qasr. Another soldier added: “There’s no beer, no prostitutes and people…

  • The Golden Rule

    Remember the Golden Rule He who has the gold makes the rules.

  • Thirteen

    A young man was strolling down a street. As he passed a large building with a fence around it, he heard a group of people chanting “Thirteen, thirteen, thirteen” over and over again. Curious, he tried to see over the fence, but couldn’t. Then he spotted a hole in the wood. He put his eye…