Jokes
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Thirteen
in JokesA young man was strolling down a street. As he passed a large building with a fence around it, he heard a group of people chanting “Thirteen, thirteen, thirteen” over and over again. Curious, he tried to see over the fence, but couldn’t. Then he spotted a hole in the wood. He put his eye…
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5 Jokes (13)
in Jokes1 What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot? Bigfoot has been spotted. 2 How do you drown a blonde? Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool. 3 What’s the blonde’s cheer? “I’m blonde, I’m blonde, I’m B.L.O.N….ah, oh well… 4 What do you get when you offer a blonde a…
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I Decided…
in JokesI decided to kill the sexiest person alive, but then I realized suicide is illegal.
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Arbor Day
in JokesIt was Arbor Day, and a blonde, a brunette and a redhead all planted something. The redhead planted flowers in her front yard. The brunette planted a tree in her back yard. The blonde didn’t know what to plant, so she asked the redhead. “Plant something that looks good,” she said. The blonde still didn’t…
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12 Days of Christmas, A Letter
in JokesMiss Agnes McHolstein 69 Cash Avenue Beaver Meadow, Col. December 14 Dearest John: I went to the door today and the postman delivered a Partridge in a Pear Tree. What a thoroughly delightful gift! I couldn’t have been more surprised. With deepest love and devotion, Agnes ———————————————————— Miss Agnes McHolstein 69 Cash Avenue Beaver Meadow,…
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Copyright Violations
in JokesPlease do not submit jokes that are copyrighted by someone else. Or ask for permission from the author before you use copyrighted jokes.
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ABC’S
in JokesOne night, a little boy and his father were having a conversation. The father asked the boy, “Can you say your ABC’s, son?” “Yes I can! A…B..C…” and he goes through the whole alphebet. The father then said, “That’s good, but can you say it backwords?” The boy smiles and says, “yeah”, so he turns…
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The Quadriplegic
in JokesA man is walking down the docks when he sees a quadriplegic woman crying in a corner. Trying to be a nice guy he walks up and asks her what’s wrong. “I’ve never been hugged.” replies the woman. The man figures it would be a nice thing to do, so he picks her up and…
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On The Bus…
in JokesOne day, I was about to tell my ‘Micky Mouse is Mad’ joke to my friends, when I get to the part “Mickey Mouse was in the Divorce court…” One of my friends interrupted me and started yelling… “But why is it Mickey Mouse? Why not Steamboat Willie? Or George?” Losing interest, I noticed there…
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Doctor Jokes
in JokesPatient: Doctor, doctor, I know a person who is an owl. Doctor: Who? Patient: Now I know two. Doctor: “Did you take the patient’s temperature?” Nurse: “No. Is it missing?”
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I Wish I Could be Beautiful
in JokesOne day God said that he would grant anyone in line a wish. This one guy got stuck at the back of the line, which made him kind of upset. The people before him went on through the line, and everyjoke wished that they could be beautiful. The last guy came up to God and…
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Mission To Mars
in JokesMission to Mars (Space Shuttle with two trained monkeys and a blonde astronaut) The Mission Control Room in the US calls the Space Shuttle. “Monkey 1, Monkey 1, report to communications for instructions.” The trained monkey sits down and he is told to release the pressure in compartment 1, increase the temperature in engine 4…