Jokes
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I Wish I Could be Beautiful
in JokesOne day God said that he would grant anyone in line a wish. This one guy got stuck at the back of the line, which made him kind of upset. The people before him went on through the line, and everyjoke wished that they could be beautiful. The last guy came up to God and…
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Mission To Mars
in JokesMission to Mars (Space Shuttle with two trained monkeys and a blonde astronaut) The Mission Control Room in the US calls the Space Shuttle. “Monkey 1, Monkey 1, report to communications for instructions.” The trained monkey sits down and he is told to release the pressure in compartment 1, increase the temperature in engine 4…
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Glass of Water
in JokesWhy did a blonde take an empty glass and a glass full of water to bed? She wasn’t sure if she would get thirsty during the night.
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I Want a Refund!
in JokesA blonde buys a thermos. Two days later, she’s back in the shop and wants a refund. The sales person asks her why she’s returning it. She replies, “Well, when I bought it, you said it would keep hot things hot and cold things cold, but yesterday I took some coffee and ice-cream to work…
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Water Buffalo
in JokesWhat’s the difference between yo mamma and a water buffalo? About 20 pounds! How do you even out the difference? Either force feed the buffalo or shave your mom.
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Nightmare Mice
in JokesMrs. Biddle was walking down the street one day carrying a small box with holes punched in the top. “What’s in that box?” Mrs. Riddle asked. “A cat,” Mrs. Biddle answered. “What for?” “I’ve been dreaming about mice at night, and I’m scared of mice. The cat is to catch them.” “But the mice you…
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My Old Man Is Home!
in JokesBill pilled up a stool at his favorite bar and announced, “My wife Suzie must love me more than any woman has ever loved any man!” “What makes you say that?” the bartender inquired. “Last week,” Bill explained, “I had to take a couple of sick days from work. Suzie was so thrilled to have…