Jokes

  • Horseback riding

    Joe: Hi Jack. How did you like horseback riding? Jack: Not that much. The problem was that the horse was too polite. Joe: Polite? Jack: Yep. When we reached the fence he let me go over first.

  • Interrupting Cow

    Knock knock. Who’s there? interrupting cow interrupting co— MOO

  • The Doctor VIII

    Two friends, who haven’t met for a couple of years, are catching up with each other’s news. One says, “And then the doctor said he’d have me back on my feet in a fortnight!” His pal says, “Well, did he?” “He sure did, I had to sell my car to pay him!”

  • Password Stars

    A blond employee calls the Help Desk to complain that there’s something wrong with her password. “The problem is that whenever I type the password, it just shows stars,” she says. “Those asterisks are to protect you,” the Help Desk technician explains, “so if someone were standing behind you, they wouldn’t be able to read…

  • Outsiders

    As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?

  • Leroy

    A woman walks into the downtown welfare office, trailed by 15 kids… “WOW,” the social worker exclaims, “Are they ALL YOURS???” “Yep they are all mine,” the flustered mumma sighs, having heard that question a thousand times before. She says, “Sit down Leroy. All the children rush to find seats. “Well,” says the social worker,…

  • The Blond Band

    One day, a blond put an advert in the library to start a marching band. 20 other blonds saw this advert and signed up. At their first destination they played “Oh, when the saints”. At their second destination they played the same song. At their third destination they played the same song yet again! When…

  • Vanna

    Q: Why is it so hard to replace Vanna White? A: They can’t find another blonde who knows the whole alphabet.

  • Carrots and Peas

    Why did the kid like the bowl of carrots and peas? Because he could eat every carrot and pea in the bowl.

  • Wife’s Plight

    Wife: I always bring your picture with me everyday when I go to the office. Husband: Oh. That must be because you love me so much. Wife: No, it’s because whenever I see your picture, I realize that however hard the problem is in office, I’m lucky with my work because there is a much…

  • Freeway

    When everything is coming your way, you’re on the wrong side of the freeway.

  • Warm Welcome

    Knock-knock GO AWAY!!! WE DON’T WANT ANY!!!