Jokes

  • 5 Jokes

    1) How does a blonde kill a fish? She drowns it! 2) How does a blonde kill a bird? She throws it off a cliff! 3) How does a blonde lose 5 pounds? She takes off her make up! 4) Why does a blonde wash her hair in the sink? Because thats where you wash…

  • Stamps

    Yesterday my mother asked me to buy some stamps. Stamps, are available in 3p, 9p, 11p, 17p and 21p denominations. For three types of stamp I was asked to buy eight of each. For the other two types of stamp, I was asked to buy nine of each. Unfortunately I forgot which I was supposed…

  • Hollywood Story

    The wife ran into the house, screaming to her actor husband, “Darling, come quick. Your kids and my kids are beating up on our kids!”

  • The Haunted Car

    This story happened about a month ago in a little town in Louisiana, and sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale. This guy is on the side of the road hitch hiking on a very dark night in the middle of a storm. The night passes slowly and no cars come by. The storm is so…

  • Neighbors

    Indian chief addressing the tribe says: “I’ve got good news an bad news. The bad news is 5000 college students just moved next door to the reservation … good news is, they taste like buffalo.”

  • Preacher

    The angry preacher… The preacher rose with a red face. “Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the K.K.K. This is a horrible lie, and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now I want the party who did this…

  • Photographic Memory

    Everyone has a photographic memory, you just don’t have any film.

  • Helpful Driver

    As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the window. The trucker lowers the window, and she says “Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load.” The trucker ignores her and proceeds…

  • Great Nations

    Which three great nations in the world begin with “U”? – USA, USSR, and our (German:unsere) GDR (USA, UdSSR, Unsere DDR). (A play on the way official discourse often used the phrase “our GDR”, and also often exaggerated the GDR’s world status.)

  • Another Blond Joke

    Q: How many blonds does it take to change a light bulb? A: 101, one to hold the lightbulb and 100 to spin the house!

  • Mensa

    People from Mensa are said to understand any jokes without the need of any explaination. Meaning Mensans will be able to understand this joke here, though it is limpid that there aren’t any to be contemplated.

  • Two Men

    Man: How many asian people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Asian Man: Whats a lightbulb?