5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • Joke

    in

    Yo momma is so ugly, that when she was born the doctor smacked her butt and his hand melted!

  • Veggies

    in

    ALL DIET FAQ’s answered… Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables? A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a lamb eat? Leaves and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a kabab is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat…

  • The Bet

    in

    A blonde was sitting down in a bar one day next to a red-head. Both of them were sitting there having a good time and then the news turned on. The woman reporter shouted out “This just in! A man is at the edge of a cliff attempting to jump!”. Then the red-head leans over…

  • Murder? Or Suicide?

    in

    At the 1994 annual awards dinner given for Forensic Science, AAFS president Dr. Don Harper Mills astounded his audience with the legal complications of a bizarre death. Here is the story: On March 23, 1994, the medical examiner viewed the joke of Ronald Opus and concluded that he died from a shotgun wound to the…

  • Bus Driver

    in

    A man was out of work, and he was combing through the want ads. He saw that a school was looking for a bus driver, so he called and was asked to come for an interview. He got the job, and was surprised when he went out and found that the bus was garishly painted…

  • T-shirt Slogans

    in

    Save the trees – wipe your arse with an owl. “My point-and-click interface is an Uzi submachine gun.” Saint Michael – patron saint of underpants I’m an apathetic sociopath – I’d kill you if I cared. I’m completely sane, according to the voices in my head. My wife’s an earth sign. I’m a water sign.…

  • A Good Marriage

    in

    A good marriage would be between a blind woman, and a deaf man.

  • Hair Restorer

    in

    I have the typical observant wife. One evening after dinner, she handed me a bottle of that Rogaine hair restorer. I told her while I was indeed starting to thin out some, I didn’t really think I needed hair restorer yet. She said, “Oh. It’s not for you, it’s for your secretary, she seems to…

  • Slogan Success

    in

    The head of a small industrial company posted a slogan all around the office and plant saying, “Do it now!” with the hope of getting better results from his workers. Some weeks later, when asked why he was removing the slogan signs, he said, “It worked too well. The bookkeeper skipped with $20,000, the chief…

  • Diet Nightmare

    in

    A dietician was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. “The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. “Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the…

  • 50th Anniversary

    in

    While enjoying an early morning breakfast in a northern Arizona cafe, four elderly ranchers were discussing everything from cattle, horses, and weather to how things used to be in the “good old days.” Eventually the conversation moved on to their spouses. One gentleman turned to the fellow on his right and asked, “Roy, aren’t you…

  • The Service

    in

    One Sunday morning, the priest noticed Little Johnny was staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. It was covered with names, and small American flags were mounted on either side of it. The seven-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the priest walked…