Jokes
-
New IRS Tax
in JokesThe only thing the Internal Revenue Service has not yet taxed is the penis. This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it is hanging around unemployed. 30% of the time it is hard up, 20% of the time it is pissed off, and 10% of the time it’s in the hole.…
-
Dating Hints For Gentlemen
in JokesThere are lots of ways to ruin a date. Here are a few things NOT to say on a date… I really don’t like this restaurant that much, but I wanted to use this 2-for-1 coupon before it expired. I refuse to get cable. That’s how they keep tabs on you. I used to come…
-
Opportunity
in JokesOpportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. – Thomas Alva Edison.
-
Defining the Americans
in Jokes. We yell for the Government to balance the budget, then take the last dime we have to make the down payment on a car. We whip the enemy in battle, then give them the shirt off our backs. We yell for speed laws that will stop fast driving, then won’t buy a car if…
-
What Children Say IV
in JokesKid’s Instructions on Life… “Wear a hat when feeding seagulls.” – Rocky, age 9 “Sleep in your clothes so you’ll be dressed in the morning.” – Stephanie, age 8 “Don’t flush the john when your dad’s in the shower.” – Lamar, age 10 “Never ask for anything that costs more than $5 when your parents…
-
Berlin Wall
in JokesHow can you use a banana as a compass? Place a banana on the Berlin Wall. East is where a bite has been taken out of it.
-
Take A Look!
in JokesBack in the old Wild West, there were two blond cowpokes, Jeff and Dave. One day, the two were enjoying a strong sarsaparilla in the local saloon, when a man walked into the bar with an Indian’s head under his arm. The barman shakes his hand and says, “I hate Indians; last week they burnt…
-
How Many Irishmen…
in JokesHow many Irishmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: 50… 1 to hold the lightbulb, and 49 to drink ’till the room spins!
-
Spining Peas
in JokesWhat do you get when you see peas spinning in circles? World Peace (whirled peas)
-
Stressed or Just Stupid?
in JokesThe pressure of a workday can bring out the weirdness in people. Possibilities for stupidity are endless. Here are some real conversations: Boss: “You make too many mistakes! You’re not very consistent.” Cube Dweller: “Well, you can’t be consistent all the time.” Cashier: “And what form of payment will you be using today?” Customer: “Money.”…