Jokes
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The Service
in JokesOne Sunday morning, the priest noticed Little Johnny was staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. It was covered with names, and small American flags were mounted on either side of it. The seven-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the priest walked…
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Dam Problems Happen
in JokesThis is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries by the Pennsylvania Department of Environmental Quality, State of Pennsylvania. This guy’s response is hilarious, but read the State’s letter before you get to the response letter. SUBJECT: DEQ File No.97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Lycoming County Dear Mr. DeVries: It has come…
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A Blonde’s IQ
in JokesI was watching Beauty and the Geek the other day, and felt like submitting this joke (as it’s somewhat similar to something that happened in the show). A blonde is in school, and her teacher is having a random discussion about IQs. Teacher: “So what would you say your IQ is?” she asks a student…
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Same Old, Same Old
in JokesChildren today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers. – Socrates (470 – 399 BC)
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The Computer Cookie
in JokesOnce upon a time in a land where everyone updates there Facebook status every 5 seconds, there was a young girl named Isabel. When Isabel was reading her cereal box, she thought “Oh.Maybe I should check my Facebook.” So Isabel walked over to her Mac and sat down. She typed in Facebook.com and clicked enter.…
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Japenese Girl
in JokesA Japanese girl accidentally lets out a disturbing fart after making love! She said: “Aww, so sorry. Excuse please, front hole so happy, back hole laugh out loud!!
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Comebacks!
in Jokes– You’re so stupid, you got locked inside a grocery store and starved to death! – You’re so big, you play pool with the planets! – You’re so fat, when you went outside in yellow clothes, someone screamed, “TAXI!” – You’re so big, when you go to the movies, you sit next to everyjoke! –…
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Things
in Jokes40 Things Never Said By Southerners 40. Oh I just couldn’t. Hell, she’s only sixteen. 39. I’ll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex. 38. Duct tape won’t fix that. 37. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael. 36. Come to think of it, I’ll have a Heineken. 35. We don’t keep firearms in this house. 34.…
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Priceless Picture
in JokesA man sat in his attorney’s office. “Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?” the lawyer asked. “Give me the bad news first.” “Your wife found a picture worth a half-million dollars.” “That’s the bad news?” asked the man, incredulously. “I can’t wait to hear the terrible news.” “The terrible news…
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Mental Health Hotline
in JokesHello, and welcome to the Mental Health Hotline. If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6. If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line…
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Dads’ Jobs
in JokesThree boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, “My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50.” The second boy says, “That’s nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a…